Attack on America
Helping Children Cope with Fear
Joshua 4:19-24
By Dave Redick

With events like the ones we have seen in our country over the last two months, covered 24-hours-a-day by multiple news channels, children are going to ask such questions. The suggestion here is to remember to be truthful and give enough information to satisfy their curiosity. Beyond that, confidently go on with daily activities as you always have. If you do, you'll be doing the very thing our President has said is needed to fight terrorism: go on with life as usual.

Introduction

I was one month shy of 12-years-old in October of 1962, the year of the Cuban Missile Crisis. At that tender age I knew next to nothing about world events. I do recall however, the fearful talk of world war that I heard from the adults around me. I remember the fuzzy pictures of Nikita Khrushchev speaking angry words on the black and white television in our living room and the equally powerful words from then President John F. Kennedy. Our news choices were simple back then. There was the Huntley-Brinkly Report on one channel and, if my dad got up on the roof and changed the direction of the antenna, a very snowy Walter Cronkite on the other. I recall that some people were building fallout shelters in their back yards and stocking them with food to last several years. There was talk about surviving radioactive fallout. I remember having nightmares of airplanes dropping bombs on our house and recall always waking up just before the bombs struck. I remember the civil defense drills where we were to "duck and cover" under our desks at school when the sirens went off. (What good that would do in a nuclear attack escapes me.) I recall wondering if I would make it back home on the bus when school let out if war started. Sensing the fear that was building around me I recall asking my parents whether there was going to be a nuclear war and if we were all going to be killed. I also remember asking why we weren't building a fallout shelter in our own back yard.

I don't remember today exactly what my parents told me when I asked them these questions. I just remember being afraid. It wasn't until years later that I learned what actually happened during that time of world crisis. Historians have since said we were on the brink of nuclear war.

Today, in the wake of the September 11th attack on America, I find myself concerned about how my grandchildren are dealing with what is happening around them. They're all younger than I was in 1962 - perhaps young enough to be mostly protected from fear by their lack of understanding. Yet I know that they've seen the pictures of the collapsing world trade towers and have heard that our nation is at war. The older ones are sharp enough to have heard the word "Anthrax" and surely know the name, Usama bin Laden.

What should we tell our children (and grandchildren) in the wake of the terrorist attack on America? How can we help them with their fears? How far should we go in explaining tragedy and terror? I want to address these issues in the best way I can in this message. Even if you don't have any children or grandchildren, or at least don't have any of them close by, you can benefit from consideration of this topic because there are children all around us and we never know when we'll have the opportunity to help one of them.

I put my stock in this Book of Life that we call the Bible when I need answers. It is the very Word of God from the mind of God, given to guide us. According to 2 Peter 1:3, it contains "all things pertaining to life and godliness." Naturally then, when faced with difficult questions of important magnitude, I will always go first to try to find answers within its pages.

Accordingly, when I posed the question, "What does God want us to say to our children during difficult times in our history?" a couple of passages came to mind. We'll take a look at several of them this morning, focusing primarily on Joshua chapter 4.

We'll look specifically at Joshua 4:19-24. First though, while you're locating those verses, let me first give you a bit of the context.

In the early verses of Joshua chapter 3 Israel is encamped on the shore of the Jordan River. The period of "Wilderness Wanderings" is over. Time for the conquest of the land of Canaan has arrived. Moses is dead and a new leader, Joshua, will guide the people into the Promised Land. After camping there beside the Jordan for three days, Joshua gives instructions about the crossing: Watch for the priests to go forth carrying the ark of the covenant into the flooded river, then follow them, getting no closer than 2000 cubits to the ark (approximately 1000 yards). Thus the priests went forth into the flooded river carrying the ark. When their feet touched the water, the flow stopped some distance upstream, allowing them to cross over as they had already done through the Red Sea. Once the people were safely across, twelve men specially chosen beforehand, one man from each tribe, went back and lifted twelve large stones from the middle of the river and carried them to Gilgal, the nearest city on the eastern shore. There the stones were stacked up as a memorial of their crossing for future generations. That's where we'll pick up our text.

(Read Joshua 4:19-24)

These verses tell how God wanted Israel to deal with their children and the significant events of their history. But what do these verses, which describe and incident that happened to ancient Israel 3500 years ago, have to do with us? The Apostle Paul explains in 1 Corinthians 10:11, "Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come."

God has preserved the accounts of these things for our instruction. They provide examples of how He works and how we are to handle difficult things. Immediately evident from this passage is the truth that God wanted the children of that day to know and understand the events of their history. He didn't want generations that came after to forget His dealings with them. His instruction therefore, was not to put them into a bubble of protective ignorance in which they were so insulated from reality that they had no concept of where they came from and thus would not understand where they were going. Neither did He want them to ignore their religious history. He wanted them exposed to the truth of their heritage and to the realities of life.

With that in mind, let me suggest three things from this passage that can help guide us in dealing with our own children. First, in dealing with our children on difficult issues, we should carefully consider:

1. The Timing.

As we were raising our kids, I remember wrestling again and again with the question of timing. When should I tell them this or that? How old should they be, for instance, before I begin to relate to them the facts of life including everything from "the birds and the bees" to the serious (and even frightening) realities of heaven and hell?

As you may already know, the Bible does not contain a developmental chart that says that at such and such an age you should tell them this and then two years later you should tell them that. But our text does address the timing issue. It says to tell them when they ask.(1) Look again at verse 21:

And he said to the sons of Israel, "When your children ask their fathers in time to come, saying, 'What are these stones?' then you shall inform your children, saying,' Israel crossed this Jordan on dry ground.'"

When is it right to tell children truths about life? This text suggests to do it when they ask.

There is a natural curiosity in children. When they see something that is out of place or that challenges what they already understand, if they have a relationship with a parent that allows questions, they will ask. In the case of our text, the children come upon this odd looking pile of smooth river stones at a spot that is unnatural and ask, "What are these? How did they get here? Obviously they don't belong here, so where did they come from?" And the parent proceeds to take advantage of the "teaching moment." "Those were put there by our ancestors to remind us of the time they walked across the flooding Jordan River on dry ground." From there, the story is told, perhaps even going all the way back to times of terror in the life of Israel in Egyptian slavery. (Israel did have terror in their lives, even back then, in the series of Pharaohs who oppressed them.)

Actually, the same timing element of when they ask is seen elsewhere in the Old Testament writings. In relation to telling their children about the Passover, we find similar instructions given to Israel in Exodus 12:26-27:

And it will come about when your children will say to you, 'What does this rite mean to you?' that you shall say,' It is a Passover sacrifice to the Lord who passed over the houses of the sons of Israel in Egypt when He smote the Egyptians, but spared our homes.'

Notice again the idea: When they ask, tell them what it means.

Here's another example. With regard to the ceremonial practice of redemption of the firstborn child in each Jewish family under the Law of Moses, we read in Exodus 13:14:

And it shall be when your son asks you in time to come, saying, 'What is this?' then you shall say to him, 'With a powerful hand the Lord brought us out of Egypt, from the house of slavery.

And again, this time in Deuteronomy 6:20-21, regarding teaching the need to obey God's commandments, when the child asks why, tell him. We read in those verses:

When your son asks you in time to come, saying, "What do the testimonies and the statutes and the judgments mean which the Lord our God commanded you?" then you shall say to your son, "We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt; and the Lord brought us from Egypt with a mighty hand."

While I'm not suggesting that there should never be any proactive teaching of our children in our homes, the Bible does indicate that we shouldn't shrink from answering the difficult questions when our children ask. Their questions will indicate their maturity level far better than their chronological age. When it comes to difficult things like the attack on America, don't ignore or avoid their questions. In time, they will ask and that is the time to explain. Secondly, our texts suggests that we should tell:

2. The Truth.

Verse 22 says,

…then you shall inform your children, saying, "Israel crossed this Jordan on dry ground."

When children ask us serious questions, we need to inform them. We need to give them factual answers. Their ignorance and immaturity protect them when they are younger. They simply don't know enough to ask. As they begin to mature, they will begin to ask, and what they need at that time is truth tailored to their ability to grasp it.

For instance, a child who asks, "Where do babies come from?" needs a factual answer. No, he or she doesn't need a detailed explanation of human reproduction at a tender age. Just give enough information to satisfy the curiosity and put the questions to rest. But the answer needs to be factual. Instead of speaking of storks and cabbage leaves, we could say something like, "When two people really love each other, they decide to get married just like Mommy and I did. Pretty soon, God causes a baby to grow inside Mommy's tummy and then, before long they have a baby in their house."

I'm not suggesting here that I think stories about storks and cabbage leaves when they are little are necessarily bad. I just think that such explanations aren't necessary when, with a little consideration, the truth can be told in a manner suitable to the child's ability to understand.

But we're not taking about human reproduction. We're talking about the attack on America and the tragic events that followed and what to say to our children. Here are some questions we might need to be ready to answer. Most of them were suggested to me by Bob Whiddon, a minister of Eastside Church of Christ in Portland, Oregon, in his "Minister As Counselor" periodical: (2)

bulletWhy did planes crash into the buildings?
bulletWhy are people crying?
bulletDid the people in the airplanes die?
bulletDid the people in the buildings go to heaven?
bulletWhy does that mean man want to hurt people?
bulletIs an airplane going to crash into our house?
bulletIs there going to be a war?

With events like the ones we have seen in our country over the last two months, covered 24-hours-a-day by multiple news channels, children are going to ask such questions. The suggestion here is to remember to be truthful and give enough information to satisfy their curiosity. Beyond that, confidently go on with daily activities as you always have. If you do, you'll be doing the very thing our President has said is needed to fight terrorism: go on with life as usual.

By the way, with regard to the 24 hour news, it is probably wise if there are young children in the house, to turn the TV off except for certain times of the day when you can be in the room with them, lest they get too focused on the events due to the constant repetition. Come to think of it, that might be the answer to the anxiety of some adults I know!

Thirdly, in helping our children deal with their fears regarding the events of 9/11, we should focus on:

3. The Training.

Getting back to our text, the ancient Israelite child has asked his father about the strange pile of river stones. The father has given a factual answer: "This is here to remind us that Israel crossed the river on dry ground back when we first came into this land."

A younger child might be satisfied with such a short answer, but as he or she matures, it is going to take more explanation, which is a good thing. Notice in verses 23 and 24 how the heap of stones is related to faith in God.

"For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan before you until you had crossed, just as the Lord your God had done to the Red Sea, which He dried up before us until we had crossed; that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, so that you may fear the Lord your God forever."

Four times in those verses the event is related in a very personal way ("the Lord your God"; "the hand of the Lord") to God's role in what happened.

We need to train our children learn to relate events in life to God and to faith. Let's try it with the questions I asked earlier:

bulletWhy did planes crash into the buildings?

Because there are evil people in the world who don't understand God. That's why we try to help people learn more about Him and that's why we pray for missionaries who go to other lands and try to teach them about God and Jesus.

bulletWhy are people crying?

Maybe because some of their friends were in the building. It's really important for us to serve God so that when we die we can go to heaven and be there with our loved ones.

bulletDid the people in the airplanes die?

Yes, they did, but if they knew God and served Him, they most surely went to heaven and that is a much better place.

bulletDid the people in the buildings go to heaven?

I surely hope so, don't you? The most important issue in anyone's life is whether or not they go to heaven.

bulletWhy does that mean man want to hurt people?

Sometimes when people don't really know God, they do things that don't make sense. That's why it's so important for us to learn all we can about God.

bulletIs an airplane going to crash into our house?

There's not much chance of that happening, but why don't we pray to God right now and ask Him to watch over us and protect us, then let's go into the kitchen and fix some popcorn.

bulletIs there going to be a war?

I don't know the answer to that question but I do know that our government and our President are working very hard to make sure it doesn't happen here and the Bible tells us that we should pray for them. Why don't we do that right now, then you go get your pajamas on and I'll read you a story.

Our text in Joshua 4:19-24 suggests three things to be concerned about in dealing with our children in the aftermath of events like September 11th:

bulletThe timing
bulletThe truth
bulletThe training

In preparation for this message I did some reading to see what those who deal regularly with children suggested to help in coping with fears after the 9/11 attack. The following is a blend of some of the better ideas I came across in reading the websites of teachers, counselors, youth leaders, and such. They are not all Biblical, but they make sense to me. Since they were repeated often by various experts, I won't cite the sources. I put them forth as possibilities for you to consider in dealing with the children in your life…

bulletConsider the impact of your own reactions. If you are tense and fearful, your children will be, too. (During the time of the Cuban Missile Crisis I related to you earlier, I don't remember my parents telling me anything that calmed my fears, but I do remember that they weren't noticeably shaken and that helped me to cope. Perhaps it is time to take scripture seriously and cast our own anxiety on God.)
bulletTake time to listen to your children. Of course this should be done at all times, but even more so now.
bulletHelp your children sort out fact from fiction. In absence of proper information, sometimes children fill in blank spots with their own imagination. (My nightmares of planes dropping bombs is an example.) Gory details are not required in presenting the facts, but providing facts will drive out distorted speculations and resolve unnecessary fears.
bulletAssist your children in doing something to help. The President's program to send a dollar to help Afghani children is a good one for young children.(3) Doing something constructive to help is always better than sitting around and fretting, even with adults.
bulletLimit television and radio time, especially with small children. This suggestion was repeated by many experts. Dwelling on frightening things only serves to magnify them. Get them involved in family activities instead of sitting in front of the TV.
bulletWatch for emotional and behavioral changes in your children. When observed, ask questions, then listen. Give reassurance where appropriate. Model strength and confidence.
bulletPray often and specifically for your children and with them. Ephesians 4:6 says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be known to God, and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension shall guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
bulletLive your faith, walk your faith, and talk your faith before your children and grandchildren. Now is not the time to be lukewarm. (Of course, no time is good for that!)

Conclusion

First Lady Laura Bush, who in my opinion is proving to be a very classy First Lady, sent out the following letter to elementary school children on September 12, the day after the attack on America. You can find it on the "whitehouse.gov" website. (4)

Dear Children:

Many Americans were injured or lost their lives in the recent national tragedy. All their friends and loved ones are feeling very sad, and you may be feeling sad, frightened, or confused, too.

I want to reassure you that many people - including your family, your teachers, and your school counselor - love and care about you and are looking out for your safety. You can talk with them and ask them questions. You can also write down your thoughts or draw a picture that shows how you are feeling and share that with the adults in your life.

When sad or frightening things happen, all of us have an opportunity to become better people by thinking about others. We can show them we care about them by saying so and by doing nice things for them. Helping others will make you feel better, too.

I want you to know how much I care about all of you. Be kind to each other, take care of each other, and show your love for each other.

With best wishes,

Laura Bush

With my thanks to Mrs. Bush for being sensitive to children's needs so quickly I'll close my message. I appeal to you also to be sensitive to the needs of the children around you. May God bless you and your family as you continue to trust Him every day.

Footnotes: (Use your "back" button to return to your place)

1. I am indebted to Bob Whiddon, Jr. of Eastside Church of Christ in Portland, Oregon, for pointing out this "when they ask" principle and also the suggestions for questions children ask in his excellent monthly periodical, The MAC (The Minister as Counselor). The questions Free subscriptions are available by writing: THE MAC, c/o Eastside Church of Christ, 9030 Glisan Street, Portland, OR 97220-5894. Bob will soon be putting his material on a website.
2. Ibid.
3. Put a dollar bill into and envelope and mail it to: America's Fund for Afghan Children, c/o The White House, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW., Washington, DC, 20509-1600.
4.
http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2001/09/letter2.html

Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.

Copyright © 1996-2008 by The Preacher's Study. Permission is granted to subscribers to use this document in total or in sermon preparation in the context of the local congregation only. Publishing it in a book, on the Internet, or anyplace beyond the local congregation is prohibited.

All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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