A man named Bob was working in the coal mines of Wyoming. Because he was a Christian and would not push his way around, he was singled out for all the hardest, dirtiest, hottest jobs the crew bosses had. Yet he did these jobs without ever complaining. But one day a conversation was overheard between Bob and his boss. It seems that the boss had made the mistake of "going off" on Bob, using the name of Jesus as a curse word. A sudden fire had filled Bob’s eyes. He straightened up (he was 6’4" and weighted 280), looked down on his boss, and began to peck his dirty fingernail on the guy’s white hardhat. "Listen my little friend," he said. "You can treat me like you want to. I’ll go anyplace in this mine and work for you. But don’t you ever let me hear you use my Lord’s name like that again!" There was total silence. The blood drained from the boss’s face. And you know, he never swore in Bob’s presence again.

Some years ago I ran across a study that pointed to what seems to be a trend in the church. I apologize that I don’t still have the source of this information but I think that it presents something that you’ll probably find fairly easy to agree with. It had to do with the ratio of men to women in Christian congregations.

The study pointed out that nationally, our general population contains about 5% more women than men. With that in mind you would expect the church to reflect a similar ratio between the sexes. Yet this is not the case.

The study charted the ratio of men to women in a congregation in Oklahoma for illustration purposes. Of 348 members, 155 were female and 118 were male. 61 were unbaptized children of the various families.

The significance of the study however was the trend that developed in that church over a ten year period. During the first five years there was a 10% numeric advantage of women over men. That’s about 5% over the national ratio. During the second five year period the disparity grew to 12%, while during the last year of the study the female advantage had increased to 16%.

The study went on to say that some congregations have a ratio of 60% female and 40% male. No congregation in the study had a better record than the one in Oklahoma.

I realize that statistics can be used to make a lot of different points. I make no claim of the value of these other than to say that it does seem to agree with what to me is rather obvious from simple observation – there are more women in the church than men. To be fully objective in finding the true reasons for this we would need to see more study. Yet I would like to make a suggestion about at least one possible reason for the disparity, based on my own, non-scientific, anecdotal observations.

A lot of men stay away from Christian assemblies today because they believe that church is only for women, children, and weak men. While fathers may recognize the need for their sons to have moral and spiritual values, they rather teach their sons, by their staying away, that church is only for those "few weakling misfits that cannot face life in a man’s world."

One reason for this distorted view of the church is a caricature of what a Christian really is. Many today, especially men, believe that one must be a sissy or a weakling to be a Christian. Yet nothing could be further from the truth. That is one of the things we will look at this morning as we continue our study of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23. Follow along please, as I read it once again:

This morning’s message is a continuation of our series called "You Can Do It." Today’s sermon is called, "You Can Be a Gentle Christian." Our plan has been to start by defining each of the words in Paul’s list of the fruit of the Spirit, and that is where we’ll begin again today.

Maybe the best place to start answering that question is to clarify what gentleness isn’t.

The King James Version translates the word we are considering as meekness. Yet meekness means something different today than it did 400 years ago when the KJV was produced. Many today equate meekness with weakness - and rightly so, according to the dictionary.

Dictionary.com on the Internet gives the secondary definition that I think many people would use today for the meaning of meekness. It says, "easily imposed on; submissive." Some of the synonyms listed by the same source are: "acquiescent, pablum, soft, spineless, spiritless, weak-kneed, wishy-washy." Other synonyms I found were "cowardly," "chicken," "sissified," "doormat," "lily-livered," yellow-striped," and "pusillanimous."

I’m about to exhort you to be more gentle or meek. Do you expect a sermon on how to be more cowardly or sissified? If you do you’ve misunderstood the meaning of Biblical meekness or gentleness.

Unfortunately, "meekness" isn’t a very good translation for today of the word Paul used in our text. The "gentleness" of the NASV is a bit better, but I think we still need some work in understanding more exactly what Paul meant when he said, "The fruit of the Spirit is… gentleness…."

The Greek word translated "gentleness" by the NASV is PROUTES. It is one of those words for which it is somewhat difficult to find an exact English equivalent. Gentleness is closer than meekness, but it still doesn’t quite hit the target.

300 years before Christ, Aristotle used a particular method of defining words. He would first name two words with opposite meaning. Then he would explain the word he was defining as somewhere between the meanings of the two opposing words. For instance, a generous man was somewhere between a spendthrift (one who spends everything he gets) and a miser (one who hoards all he has).

Aristotle put our word PROUTES (translated "gentleness" in the NASV) somewhere between excessive anger on one side and excessive angerlessness on the other. PROUTES, according to Aristotle, described a man who knows when it is appropriate to be angry and when it is not. Perhaps a good illustration would by Jesus driving out the moneychangers from the temple on the one hand, yet speaking nothing in His own defense at His trial and crucifixion on the other.

During the New Testament period the word PROUTES was used to describe a wild animal that had been tamed. It was also used to describe a gentle breeze that had once been a hurricane and a horse that had been broken to the bridle and saddle. The idea is that of strength under control.

Thus, PROUTES, gentleness in our text, is not weakness. Rather, it describes great strength harnessed and brought under control – perhaps even to the point of usefulness.

An apt illustration from the Scriptures might be Jesus who could have called ten legions of angels to save Him from the cross (remember, one angel killed 185,000 Assyrian troops in the Old Testament!) yet he submitted Himself willingly to the control of the Jews and Romans for the sake of gaining salvation for us.

PROUTES also carries the idea of humility. Quintellian was once quoted as saying, "They would no doubt be excellent students if they weren’t already convinced of their own knowledge." There are many people like those students – puffed up beyond reason about their own abilities. Gentleness involves an accurate assessment of self. It perhaps sees some reason to boast yet it holds back in willing humility, knowing its own limits.

To summarize then, PROUTES, gentleness, has to do with knowing when to be angry and when not to be angry. It signifies great strength under control. And it involves humility.

At this point I want to request that all of you, especially you men who might have had the mistaken idea that Christianity is only for women, children, and the weak, to pay close attention.

Numbers 12:3 in the King James Version says, "Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the earth."

The New American Standard uses the word humble to describe Moses, rather than meek.

Here’s a question for those of you familiar with the Bible’s description of Moses: Was he a lily-livered, pusillanimous sissy?

Remember when Moses went into the presence of Pharaoh to demand the release of God’s people? Remember when he stood between the army of Pharaoh and the edge of the Red Sea and cried out to all the terrified people, "Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord?" Remember when he ground the golden calf to powder and made the people drink it?

Does this sound to you like a weak-kneed, wishy-washy sissy? Yet the Bible says that Moses was the meekest man on earth. You don’t have to be a chicken to be gentle! In fact, that idea of great strength under control fits Moses pretty well most of the time.

Besides Moses, another good example of gentleness is Paul. Before he was "tamed" by Christ with the gospel, he murdered Christians. His venomous anger spread until the saints of His day feared him tremendously – witnessed in part by their early reluctance to accept him into the church after he was converted.

Paul wasn’t a weak no-count or no-show in his chosen career before Christ, either. In Philippians 3:4-6 he wrote: "If anyone else has a mind to put confidence in the flesh, I far more: circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to the righteousness which is in the Law, found blameless."

Paul was a strong and successful man. Yet listen to how that strength was brought under control in verses 7 and 8 of the same passage: "But whatever things were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ…."

Great strength brought under control for Christ - humility born of the realization of a greater purpose than self – that’s the gentleness or meekness we’re referring to.

Jesus is called "the Lion of the Tribe of Judah" in Revelation 5:5. But He’s no ‘fraidycat. When John saw the risen and glorified Christ in the vision he recorded in the book of Revelation, he wrote these words in Revelation 1:13-17: "…in the middle of the lampstands one like a son of man, clothed in a robe reaching to the feet, and girded across His breast, and girded across His breast with a golden girdle. 14 And His head and His hair were white like white wool, like snow; and His eyes were like a flame of fire; 15 and His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been caused to glow in a furnace, and His voice was like the sound of many waters. 16 And in His right hand He held seven stars; and out of His mouth came a sharp two-edged sword; and His face was like the sun shining in its strength. 17 And when I saw Him, I fell at His feet as a dead man."

John was at first terrified at what He saw. Yet when Jesus walked this earth He said this in Matthew 11:29 to those who considered following Him: "Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle [PRAUS, a form of the same word used in Galatians 5] and humble in heart; and you shall find rest for your souls."

Though gentleness is enjoined on Christians of both sexes, Aubrey Andelin wrote a book some years ago that applied this characteristic to men. The book is out of print now. It was called "Man of Steel and Velvet." Though it has been many years since I read the book, as I recall his depiction of manliness, I think he was working from this Biblical quality of gentleness or strength brought under control.

Think again of those usages of the word outside the Bible that depict strength under control… a wild beast that is tamed, a horse that is broken to the bridle and saddle, a gentle breeze that was once a hurricane. Realize the great, awesome power of the Son of God in His glorified state, then see Him come to earth and submit Himself to the cruelties of men for the sake of gaining our salvation. That isn’t weakness. It is true gentleness.

Every Christian should be concerned for the development of gentleness as it is used here. Yes, it is the fruit of the Spirit, indicating God’s part, but like the other characteristics listed here, it must also be pursued. That means you and I have a part in its development. Paul told Timothy in 1 Timothy 6:11: "But flee from these things, you man of God; and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, perseverance and gentleness."

If we have the Holy Spirit living in us, who is given as an indwelling gift at baptism then God will do His part. What can we do on our part?

I know of no single passage that addresses the subject of gentleness from this angle, but understanding the definition helps the thoughtful Christian find some possible solutions. Here are some things I believe can help.

Paul wrote in Romans 12:3: "For through the grace given to me I say to every man among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith."

The opposite of humility is pride and arrogance, two attitudes that result from thinking more highly of ourselves than is realistic. When we get to thinking that we’re better than others or that we’re something special or great, we tend to treat others as objects beneath us or as only the means for advancing ourselves. In such a mindset, gentleness goes out the window.

You and I have nothing that God didn’t give to us and, I might add, nothing that He could not take away from us in a heartbeat if He chose. As Paul wrote to the arrogant Corinthian church in 1 Corinthians 4:7: "For who regards you as superior?" [Almost sounds like, "Who died and left you boss?" doesn’t it?] "And what do you have that you did not receive? But if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?

If you’re a good looking teen, you might be tempted to think, "I’m really hot stuff! I’m something! People should treat me in a special way!" But remember, what you have comes from God and He could very easily and quickly take it away. The same is true for someone born into wealth, or even someone who raised himself or herself out of poverty into wealth. It can be true of someone who is gifted with a good mind. "Beauty, bucks and brains" as they call them, are great assets to have. But the beauty will fade. The bucks can be lost – and will be as we leave this world. And the brains, well, what was it we were discussing? I lost my place. :-) The brains will diminish as old age approaches.

These gifts can be wonderful and can have good uses for the Lord. But we dare not forget where they came from. The tendency to exalt ourselves needs to be brought under control - tamed and made useful for the work of the Lord.

There is a spiritual arrogance that kills gentleness as well. Galatians 6:1 says, "Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness [PROUTES]; each one looking to yourself, lest you too be tempted."

Even those gifted by God with the ability to correct others spiritually are not above the temptation to exalt themselves and use their gifts for their own advancement. The antidote to this potential for spiritual self advancement over other people, according to Paul, is a "spirit of gentleness."

Paul wrote in Romans 12:16 "Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation."

"Wait a minute!" someone says. "Are you saying that I need to hang around with a bunch of people who are beneath my social status? Is that what I have to do to be a good Christian?"

No. That’s not at all what I’m saying. In fact, if that is what you think I’m saying you’re never going to develop this character trait of gentleness. What I am saying is even tougher than condescending to hang around with people of lower status. What I’m saying is that in spite of an inflated self-assessment of your position, in God’s eyes you are one of those lowly ones! In God’s eyes, on your own, you are really no better off than those people you look down on! In God’s eyes, even after you’ve accomplished great things, you are still in a lowly position. Is that offensive? Then you don’t have to take it from me. Take it from Jesus Himself.

The Lord spoke to His apostles, the ones who would hold the highest earthly office in the church, with these words in Luke 17:10: "So you too, when you do all the things which are commanded you, say, ‘We are unworthy slaves; we have done only that which we ought to have done.’"

So really, along with Paul’s direction to "associate with the lowly" we need to realize that even after we’ve done everything He wants us to do, we are still unworthy on our own. We are exalted in His eyes only when He does the exalting.

Kind of humbling, isn’t it? Realizing our true condition has a "gentling" effect – as it rightly should.

One of these days very soon every person, whether rich, famous, and good looking - or poor, unknown, and homely - will come to the end of life. They will be measured for a casket just like everyone else. They will return to the same dust as everyone else and all earthly exaltation (or lack of the same) will come to nothing. The only thing that will matter at that time will be a person’s relationship with his or her Maker. Realizing that social status means nothing at the end of this life or the beginning of the next will be a shock for many. So what I’m saying here is to put yourself on the level of the rest of humanity now, while you can still make preparations to meet your Maker.

"Do not be wise in your own estimation" Paul says here. "Associate with the lowly." Keeping aloof from those who would pull your reputation down because of their lower social status is nothing more than playing a game you cannot win and indeed, will surely lose. You can humble yourself now or you can do it later. If you do it now you will have bright future with God. If you do it later, when it is forced, you will have lost the opportunity for a future with God and will have gained a future without Him.

Notice that I did not say, "stand up for your rights." I said, "Stand up for what is right." The two are not always the same.

A man named Bob was working in the coal mines of Wyoming. Because he was a Christian and would not push his way around, he was singled out for all the hardest, dirtiest, hottest jobs the crew bosses had. Yet he did these jobs without ever complaining. But one day a conversation was overheard between Bob and his boss. It seems that the boss had made the mistake of "going off" on Bob, using the name of Jesus as a curse word. A sudden fire had filled Bob’s eyes. He straightened up (he was 6’4" and weighted 280), looked down on his boss, and began to peck his dirty fingernail on the guy’s white hardhat. "Listen my little friend," he said. "You can treat me like you want to. I’ll go anyplace in this mine and work for you. But don’t you ever let me hear you use my Lord’s Name like that again!" There was total silence. The blood drained from the boss’s face. And you know, he never swore in Bob’s presence again.

Bob was one of life’s gentle giants. He had strength, but it was under control. He wasn’t weak or lily-livered. He was no sissy. He was simply tamed for the Lord’s use.

Stand up for what is right.

A. W. Tozer once wrote, "The meek man is not a human mouse afflicted with a sense of his own inferiority. Rather he may be in his moral life as bold as a lion and as strong as Samson; but he has stopped being fooled about himself. He has accepted God’s estimate of his own life. He knows he is as weak and helpless as God declared him to be, but paradoxically, he knows at the same time that he is in the sight of God of more importance than angels. In himself - nothing; in God - everything. That is his motto."

Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.

Copyright © 1996-2008 by The Preacher's Study. Permission is granted to subscribers to use this document in total or in sermon preparation in the context of the local congregation only. Publishing it in a book, on the Internet, or anyplace beyond the local congregation is prohibited.

All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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