A Quick Overview of Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage
among Christians – Part 2
By Dave Redick
In this lesson we continue the overview begun in our last session. As pointed out
before, this is only a summary and therefore will not answer every question that could be
posed.
As before I will present my points as statements so that you may understand clearly
what I am teaching. Supportive reasons and passages will follow each statement.
Divorce
1. Unlike marriage, which was originated by God, divorce is apparently a human
institution.
No one knows how divorce began. The Bible records no incident or act of God or His
prophets or apostles that started divorce.
Jesus reinforced this conclusion in Matthew 19:8 when He said, referring to divorce, "from
the beginning it has not been this way."
2. Divorce first appears in Scripture as an already developed practice.
The first mention of divorce in the Pentateuch is in Deuteronomy 22:19 where we find
Moses regulating something that was already part of man’s culture. The fact that
Moses regulated divorce rather than forbade it entirely may explain why Jesus would later
say that Moses "permitted" it due to their hard hearts.
Matthew 19:8
He said to them, "Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to
divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way."
3. While divorce was not God’s will from the beginning, He does regulate its
practice, prescribing when it can and cannot be practiced and warning of its consequences.
The verses cited in the rest of this lesson should suffice to validate this point.
4. Divorce is the written repudiation of the marriage covenant.
Divorce in the bible is described as a formal, legal act whereby the covenant of
companionship is repudiated and dissolved.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4
When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his
eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of
divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out from his house, 2 and she leaves his
house and goes and becomes another man's wife, 3 and if the latter husband turns against
her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of
his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her to be his wife, 4 then her former
husband who sent her away is not allowed to take her again to be his wife, since she has
been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on
the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance.
Isaiah 50:1
Thus says the Lord, "Where is the certificate of divorce, by which I have sent
your mother away?"
Jeremiah 3:8
"And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away
and given her a writ of divorce…."
The elements of these descriptions indicate that a divorce was (1) Written, (2) Served
and (3) Followed by immediate separation.
5. Though God hates divorce and there is sin behind every divorce, it would be improper
to conclude that all divorce is sinful.
The statement about God hating divorce is found in Malachi 2:13-16:
13 "And this is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears,
with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it
with favor from your hand. 14 "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the Lord has
been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt
treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 "But not
one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was
seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then, to your spirit, and let no one deal
treacherously against the wife of your youth. 16 "For I hate divorce,"
says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong,"
says the Lord of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal
treacherously."
God hates divorce, yet Jesus and His apostles made allowance for divorce (and
remarriage) under certain circumstances.
Matthew 5:32
32 but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of
unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits
adultery.
Matthew 19:9
9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries
another woman commits adultery.
When Joseph who was betrothed to Mary was going to divorce her quietly because he
thought she had been unfaithful, the inspired writer of Scripture calls him a "righteous
man."
Matthew 1:19
19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man, and not wanting to disgrace her,
desired to put her away secretly.
God "divorced" Israel after repeated unfaithfulness.
Jeremiah 3:6-10
6 Then the Lord said to me in the days of Josiah the king, "Have you seen what
faithless Israel did? She went up on every high hill and under every green tree, and she
was a harlot there. 7 "And I thought, 'After she has done all these things, she will
return to Me'; but she did not return, and her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8
"And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless Israel, I had sent her away and
given her a writ of divorce, yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she went
and was a harlot also. 9 "And it came about because of the lightness of her harlotry,
that she polluted the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. 10 "And yet
in spite of all this her treacherous sister Judah did not return to Me with all her heart,
but rather in deception," declares the Lord.
6. Jesus gave only one allowance for divorce: Sexual unfaithfulness.
Matthew 5:32
But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the cause of
unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits
adultery.
Matthew 19:9
And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another
woman commits adultery.
Paul underscored this teaching of Jesus in his writing.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not
leave her husband 11(but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be
reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away.
The "leave" that Paul refers to means "leave by divorce"
since it renders the wife "unmarried." Thus Paul simply repeats the
instruction Jesus gave in the gospels, i.e., that divorce without sexual unfaithfulness
causes adultery if there is remarriage. Such a one should either remain unmarried or be
reconciled to her husband. The reverse of this (i.e., the husband leaves) is also true.
7. Though divorce is allowed in cases of sexual unfaithfulness, it is not required.
God forgave faithless Israel many times before He finally divorced her. (See again
Jeremiah 3:6-10.)
The book of Hosea presents the true story of a prophet that God ordered to marry a
prostitute. Hosea’s wife, Gomer, was sexually unfaithful again and again, yet God
told him to take her back. This true story was an illustration of God’s mercy toward
His unfaithful nation, but it also shows that there can be forgiveness and reconciliation
when there has been unfaithfulness. (See the book of Hosea).
There are in the church today marriages that held together through the treacherous
waters of sexual unfaithfulness. Where there is true repentance and a willingness to
rebuild trust and a new pattern of faithfulness, some marriages can come back even
stronger than before. There may be no greater example of Christian grace than forgiving an
unfaithful marriage partner who has truly repented.
8. Paul gave an additional allowance for divorce in the case of a believer deserted (by
divorce) by an unbelieving spouse.
1 Corinthians 7:12-15
12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an
unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away. 13 And a woman
who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not send her
husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the
unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children
are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave;
the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to
peace.
In verse 12, Paul is not giving his human "opinion" when he says, "to
the rest I say, not the Lord." He is simply saying that what he is about to say
was not addressed when the Lord was on the earth and that he would now address it as an
inspired apostle.
In verse 15 Paul says that if the unbeliever in such a "mixed marriage"
situation leaves (in the context, this would be one who leaves by divorce) the Christian
is not "under bondage." I am convinced that the words "under
bondage" here refer to the marriage bond. A believer deserted (i.e., divorced) by
an unbeliever would be free of the marriage bond and presumably be allowed to remarry.
(We’ll say more on this when we talk about remarriage).
9. Sinful divorce can be forgiven. There is only one
unforgivable sin.
While there can be such forgiveness, the question of the right to remarry remains,
which we will address in the next lesson.
In the heat of the battle, hope can seem non-existent. Yet where two people are willing
to submit to God’s pattern for marriage revealed in Scripture and will learn to live
as Christians surrendered to God, there is hope!
In our next session we will address the more difficult issue of remarriage.
