The Beginning and End of
True Repentance
Psalm 51:1-17
A Sermon by Dave Redick
Hwy 20 Church of Christ, Sweet Home, OR
A Sunday School teacher once asked a class what was meant by the word "repentance." A little boy put up his hand and said, "It is being sorry for your sins." A little girl also raised her hand and said, "It is being sorry enough to quit."
Introduction
The following letter was written to Ann Landers a few years ago. Listen to it and see what you think about this man's state of heart. Was he truly repentant?
Dear Ann Landers:
Ten years ago I left my wife and four teenagers to marry my secretary with whom I'd been having an affair. I felt I couldn't live without her. When my wife found out about us she went to pieces.
We were divorced. My wife went to work, and did a good job educating the boys. I gave her the house and part of my retirement fund.
I am fairly happy in my second marriage, but I'm beginning to see things in a different light. It hit me when I was a guest at our eldest son's wedding. That's all I was -- a guest. I am no longer considered part of the family. My first wife knew everyone present, and they showered her with affection.
She remarried, and her husband has been taken inside the circle that was once ours. They gave the rehearsal dinner, and sat next to my sons and their sweethearts.
I was proud to have a young pretty wife at my side. But it didn't make up for the pain when I realized that my children no longer love me. They treated me with courtesy, but there was no affection or real caring.
I miss my sons, especially around holiday time. I am going to try to build some bridges, but the prospects don't look very promising after being out of their lives for 10 years. It is going to be difficult re-entering now that they have a step-dad they like.
I'm writing in the hope that others will consider the ramifications before they jump. Just sign me
--Second Thoughts in P.A.
What do you think? Was this man truly repentant? I suggest to you that he was not. Though he certainly had a change of mind (he now feels that his actions weren’t very well thought out) I don’t believe his "second thoughts" measure up to the Bible’s idea of repentance. First, he seems more sorry about the loss of his sons' love and respect than he does for the damage and hurt he inflicted on his family. It sounds to me like he would do what he did again if only he could do it and also hang on to the respect of his loved ones. Secondly, there is no indication that he feels his actions were wrong. He expresses only disappointment that things didn't work out as he wished they would have. It seems, if he could now have things his way, he would have his new wife and the respect of his family.
I thought Ann's response was pretty good in this case:
Dear Second Thoughts:
I could use the rest of this column to reflect on "sowing and reaping," but it would serve no useful purpose. I'm sure you also know that a father can't disappear for 10 years and expect his sons to welcome him back with open arms. Sorry, Mister, your wife has earned their respect and devotion, and what's left over is going to the man who is now making their mother happy.
I want to talk to you in this message about true repentance. How does a person know if he or she has truly repented? How can we tell if there is true repentance in another? I'd like you to go with me to God's Word to find out. Please turn to Psalm 51.
Let me see if I can present a couple of possible situations where the answer to these questions might seem relevant:
 | A person has "gone forward" many times to express public repentance, yet a sin continues to have control of his/her life. |
| A person has doubts about his/her own initial salvation. (Such people often want to be re-baptized when they can't settle these doubts.) |
| We doubt the sincerity of another brother/sister who says "I repent" but we really don't trust that they have. |
In Psalm 51, we have a word picture of a repentant man. This Psalm was written after David's sin with Bathsheba. Nearly one year had passed between the sin and the confrontation by Nathan the Prophet. David had covered up his sin and never repented. God finally forced him out of his hiding in a dramatic confrontation by the prophet. This Psalm was written perhaps, just a few hours after Nathan's confrontation.
(Read Psalm 51:1-17)
As we will see, repentance is more than just having "second thoughts" about what one has done wrong. Repentance is a complete change of mind that will lead ultimately to changed actions and a changed way of thinking. Said another way, repentance signals the end of some things and the beginning of some things.
First, repentance signals,
I. The End of Fooling Ourselves. (v. 1-4)
A common way of dealing with the guilty conscience we all get in the wake of sin is euphemizing.
Euphemizing is the practice of substituting a mild, indirect, or vague term of description for one considered harsh or blunt. We do this in public, but even more damagingly, we do it in the privacy of our own minds - thus, fooling ourselves.
When thinking of our sin, we substitute words like my weakness, my mistake, my misstep, my problem. Each of these expressions carefully camouflages the ugliness of the offence. It lessens the impact of a full admission of sin, allowing a person to escape some of the guilt and self-incrimination. After all, doesn’t everyone make mistakes? Doesn’t everyone have to cope with problems? We carefully construct an elaborate rationale for why we do what we do. As long as no one is ever allowed to see it or question it, the ruse is effective. Our conscience is appeased. We fool ourselves to the point that what we are doing wrong doesn’t bother us very much. In this way we never fully face our wrong.
A young man once said to a preacher, "I don’t think I am a sinner." The preacher asked him if he would be willing to tell his mother or his sister all the things he had done. After a moment the young man said, "No, I certainly would not like to have them know; not for all the world." This man was fooling himself. The things he had done wrong, when reviewed in the personal court of his mind amid carefully constructed subterfuges and euphemisms, didn’t look that bad. When he looked though the eyes of his mother or sister, though, the truth was seen. He had much to be ashamed of.
David had been playing these games for nearly a year and might have gone on indefinitely had not he learned that someone else knew what he had done. Then suddenly, he saw his sin through the eyes of Nathan the prophet. His immediate realization was expressed in the words that came out of his mouth: "I have sinned against the Lord."
That is what we find in this Psalm, too.
4 Against Thee, Thee only, I have sinned, and done what is evil in Thy sight, so that Thou art justified when Thou dost speak, and blameless when Thou dost judge.
A person puts a halt to fooling himself when he admits, just as David did, "I have sinned and done evil" and that God is justified in His judgment. Actually, David admits his sin six times in the first four verses of this Psalm.
I have worked with our elders for some time now and over the years, I have watched them deal with the delicate issues of shepherding the members of this congregation. When they are speaking to a person in the wake of an admission of wrong, I see them straining anxiously to hear those words from the person. "I have sinned."
Usually, these words are an indicator that a person is finished with the subterfuge. He’s getting it out in the open - a strong indicator of true repentance - the end of fooling one’s self.
True repentance signals the end of fooling ourselves. It also signals
II. The End of Blaming Others. (v. 1-4)
Paul Harvey, in his daily radio broadcast, had this in his "For What It’s Worth" department:
Mrs. Gladys Gibbons is suing the man who was teaching her to drive a car. Mrs. Gladys Gibbons of London is suing her driving instructor. She tells High Court that it was all his fault. That during her nineteenth driving lesson… Let me quote her precisely from the transcript of yesterday's court proceedings… Mrs. Gladys Gibbons, 55, says, quote: "If he"-meaning Howard Priestly, the driving instructor- "If he had just reached over and hit the brake or switched off the ignition-I might never have hit that tree. But no - all he did was to brace himself, close his eyes, and shout: ‘Now you've bloody done it!’" End quote. She charges "negligence,"wants him to pay the damages.
It’s always someone else’s fault. That’s the way many people live. Shifting the blame. Pointing fingers to avoid accepting responsibility.
Like someone once said, "The only thing some people learn from their mistakes is how to blame them on others."
Again, in verse 2 of our text, we read,
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
David could have said, "Well, what did you expect me to do with that woman taking a bath on her roof!" He could have said, "Well, things just got out of hand. If Uriah hadn’t been so stubborn in refusing to sleep with his wife when I sent him home, he’d still be alive today."
But he said none of these things. That’s because he was truly repentant and true repentance signals the end of blaming others. It signals the acceptance of full responsibility for sin.
True repentance also signals
III. The End of Covering Up. (v. 6)
In verse 6 of our text, David says,
6 Behold, Thou dost desire truth in the innermost being, and in the hidden part Thou wilt make me know wisdom.
Economists sometimes speak of what they call the underground economy. Do any of you know what that is? Apparently, there is an entire second economy in this country that functions outside the view and reach of agencies like the Internal Revenue Service. It is a cash-only, no-contract, no-paper-trail economy, covered up by careful dodging and elaborate schemes designed to avoid detection.
Regardless of how we might feel about the powers of the IRS, a repentant person has no "underground economy" in his life. He has no hidden places that he carefully guards and covers up. Repentance, you see, involves opening it all up and airing it all out.
The repentant person has no "double life" where he lives one thing for onlookers and carefully guards a secret, sinful life for himself.
Someone once said, "To err is human, to cover it up is too."
That may be true in a person who doesn’t know repentance, but repentance signals the end of the cover-up.
True repentance also signals some beginnings.
One such is
IV. The Beginning of Concern for God’s Presence. (v. 11)
"But it was between consenting adults. No one got hurt. What harm could there be in that?"
or
"This issue only effected me. It didn’t hurt anyone else."
So go the words of a sinner who has left Someone out of the equation. That Someone is God.
One of the consistent results of sin is that it always effects a relationship - either our relationship with those around us or our relationship with God. This latter one should become a major issue in the mind of the truly repentant person.
Look at the evidence of this in our text in verse 11:
11 Do not cast me away from Thy presence, and do not take Thy Holy Spirit from me.
David, in his repentance, was suddenly very concerned that he would loose the opportunity of fellowship with God - that his sin might cause God to turn His back on him.
You see, the unrepentant person is still focused on self. If he hasn’t been exposed, he covers things up for his own benefit. If he has been caught, he tries to minimize things for his own benefit. He thinks only of himself.
Someone truly repentant is also concerned about the effect of his sin on God.
Look again at our Psalm:
4 Against Thee, Thee only, I have sinned, and done what is evil in Thy sight, so that Thou art justified when Thou dost speak, and blameless when Thou dost judge.
There was something that Nathan said immediately after David’s acknowledgment of his sin that must have cut David's heart to the quick He said in 2 Samuel 12:14,
14 "However, because by this deed you have given occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme…."
Over the years I have met many people who claimed repentance. In due time, the fruit of repentance reveals whether or not it was genuine. One of the characteristics of those who turned out to be phony has always been that they were more concerned for themselves than for God and the effect of their sin on what He considers important. In the wake of their "repentance" they were only willing to do those things which benefited them.
We need to realize that sin is an offense in the face of Almighty God!
Now might be a good time for all of us to ask ourselves just how important the presence of God is in our lives. Is He a constant thought and concern or are such thoughts rare?
Repentance is the beginning of concern for God and the effect of our sin upon Him. It is also,
V. The Beginning of Concern for Others (v. 13)
Verse 13 says,
13 Then I will teach transgressors Thy ways, and sinners will be converted to Thee.
It was strange to David that one could truly accept God’s mercy through repentance and not in turn want to share that tremendous blessing with others.
George Truett, who for many years was an effective preacher in Dallas, Texas, became a changed man through a terrible misfortune. In his youth he accidentally shot and killed a close friend while hunting. The shock of what he had done weighed heavily upon him, but he refused to let it defeat him. He determined to live for God and endeavored to do the work of two men. People who knew him said that his early experience was one of the reasons he had so much passion for lost people and gave himself so fully to God's service.
In the same way as that man felt a sense of obligation toward others because of the wrong he did, so too, should the person who has been forgiven through repentance.
His life becomes God’s as he turns it toward serving others.
Finally, when there is true repentance, there is,
VI. The Beginning of True Joy. (v. 14-15)
You might wonder how we could say that repentance is the beginning of true joy when our text is such an expression of the great sorrow David felt.
Actually, the true joy that repentance brings can only come out of genuine sorrow over what we have done wrong.
There was a couple who lived in Atlanta, Georgia, who read that "My Fair Lady" was still playing on Broadway in New York City and they wanted to go so badly they bought their tickets 10 months ahead of time and planned their vacation around being there. It cost them quite a bit of money, but they managed to get a pair of tickets for seats seven rows from the front, up near the orchestra. To the couple’s amazement the entire place filled up except the seat right next to them. The man was curious about that and at the intermission he leaned over and asked the lady in the second seat away from him if she could imagine why a person would choose not to come to the show - especially when tickets had to be purchased so many months in advance. "As a matter of fact", she said, these two seats are mine. That seat belonged to my husband but he died." The man said, "Oh, I am terribly sorry. Couldn't you have invited a friend to come with you?" She replied, "No, they were all at the funeral."
Was that lady genuinely sorry about her husband’s death? It surely doesn’t seem like it. Something just doesn’t ring true in the sincerity of her sorrow.
The Bible speaks of two kinds of sorrow in the context of repentance - a true sorrow, one that rings true, and a bogus sorrow, one that rings sort of hollow, like this lady’s sorrow over her husband’s death.
We read in 2 Corinthians 7:9-10,
9 I now rejoice, not that you were made sorrowful, but that you were made sorrowful to the point of repentance; for you were made sorrowful according to the will of God, in order that you might not suffer loss in anything through us.
10 For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation; but the sorrow of the world produces death.
"Sorrow according to the will of God" vs. "sorrow of the world -" two kinds of sorrow. One lead’s to the true joy of salvation. One leads to death.
Donald Grey Barnhouse told this story about genuine sorrow: A Sunday School teacher once asked a class what was meant by the word "repentance." A little boy put up his hand and said, "It is being sorry for your sins." A little girl also raised her hand and said, "It is being sorry enough to quit."
Being sorry enough to quit is the "sorrow that is according to the will of God" that "produces a repentance without regret."
Sometimes people are sorry for their sins, but they are only sorry they got caught and that they now must make a choice to continue their sin or quit - and they don’t really want to quit. As Josh Billings once put it: "It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit." This is where the one with the "sorrow of the world" runs aground.
Only the "sorrow that produces repentance without regret" leads to forgiveness, so only this type of sorrow can lead to the kind of joy this passage mentions.
David writes,
14 Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, Thou God of my salvation; then my tongue will joyfully sing of Thy righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips, that my mouth may declare Thy praise.
Godly sorrow before true joy - that’s the order of things when we come to God in our sin. The godly sorrow is the only kind of offering God will receive when we have sinned and it is our only hope of being restored to the joy of our salvation.
16 For Thou dost not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; Thou art not pleased with burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, Thou wilt not despise.
Our friend with the second thoughts about the desertion of his family was beginning to have second thoughts about what he did. Which kind of sorrow do you think it was? Obviously not the kind that leads to life.
Conclusion
An old legend illustrates the final end of a person who often "surfaces" to admit his sins, but never gets to the point of godly sorrow:
A hermit was guided by an angel into a wooded area where he saw an old man cutting down brush to make up a bundle. When the bundle was large, he tied it up, and attempted to lift it onto his shoulder and carry it away; but it was very heavy. He laid it down again, cut more wood, and heaped it on; and then tried again to carry it off. He repeated this several times, always adding something to the load, after trying in vain to raise it from the ground. In the meantime, the hermit, astonished at the old man's foolishness, wanted the angel to explain what this meant. "You see," he said, "in the foolish old man an exact representation of those, who, being made aware of the burden of their sins, resolve to repent, but are never truly sorry enough to turn away from their wrong. Instead of lessening their burden, they increase it every day. At each trial, they find the task heavier than before; and so put it off a little longer, in the vain hope that someday they will muster the desire to quit their sin. Thus they go on adding to their burden till it grows too heavy to be borne; and then, in despair of God's mercy, and with their sins weighting them down, they lie down and die. Turn again, my son, and behold the end of the old man whom you saw heaping up a load of boughs." The hermit looked, and watched him, still attempting to remove the pile in vain, which now had accumulated far beyond his strength to raise. His feeble limbs tottered over their burden; the remains of his strength were fast ebbing away; the darkness of death was gathering around him; and, after a convulsive and impotent attempt to lift the pile, he fell down and died.
Paul said on Mars Hill so long ago what I want to leave you with:
Acts 17:30-31
30 "Therefore having overlooked the times of ignorance, God is now declaring to men that all everywhere should repent,
31 because He has fixed a day in which He will judge the world in righteousness through a Man whom He has appointed, having furnished proof to all men by raising Him from the dead."
I call all of us, wherever it might be needed, to genuine repentance.
Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.
Copyright © 1996-2008 by The Preacher's Study. Permission is granted to subscribers to use this document in total or in sermon preparation in the context of the local congregation only. Publishing it in a book, on the Internet, or anyplace beyond the local congregation is prohibited.
All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.
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