When you need to have your car repaired, when you are going to have surgery, when you
take a check from someone, you usually make some effort to be sure you're dealing with
someone you can trust.
When you are going to take a trip across the country, when your teenaged daughter is
picked up for a date by a young man, when you sit down in a restaurant for a meal hoping
you won't get food poisoning, you are trusting either someone or something.
When you bare your soul before another, when you pass through an intersection while
driving (hoping someone doesn't hit you), when you as a husband or wife leave your mate to
go on a trip, you are trusting someone.
We trust people dozens of times every day without even thinking about it. Can
you imagine what life would be like if suddenly you could trust no one?
Back in 1992 and then again in 1996, a good number of people decided that character
wasn't that important in the private life of an elected official. If allegations
swirl around a man that he is a liar or philanderer, that's OK. What he does in his
private life is no one's business. He can still be trusted to do what is right in high
office. Today we are being treated firsthand to the results of that kind of thinking and I
suspect we won't be seeing the end of it for quite some time.
Trust is a bit like the air we breathe. We take it for granted until, for some reason,
it becomes fouled. Then we are forced to pay attention.
The Bible mentions the concept of trust many times within its pages. Many more times,
though it isn't mentioned, it is assumed. While you may have thought I was coming from a
certain political perspective in what I have said so far, I'm actually far more
concerned about morality. Trust is a moral issue. While I could give you a long
list of passages that mention trust, I'll let our text suffice this morning for making my
points.
Chuck Colson, the former Watergate break-in conspirator who was converted to
evangelical Christianity in prison and speaks out for modern Evangelicism today writes:
"In our zeal to accommodate our so-called enlightened and tolerant age, we have lost
the ideal of public virtue. I am reminded of Samuel Johnson, who, upon learning that one
of his dinner guests believed morality was merely a sham, said to his butler, 'Well, if he
really believes that there is no distinction between virtue and vice, let us count the
spoons before he leaves.' Colson continues, "Today there aren't any spoons left to
count. Look at Washington, Wall Street, academia, sports, the ministry--all the spoons are
gone because we can no longer distinguish between virtue and vice... Unless we learn how
to live [with integrity], we are doomed."
Integrity is an issue of trust.
Back in the days of Jeremiah, just before the fall of Jerusalem to the Babylonians,
Jeremiah lamented the condition of his people and the fact that you couldn't trust anyone.
"Oh, that my head were waters, and my eyes a fountain of tears, that I might weep
day and night for the slain of the daughter of my people!"
"... they bend their tongue like their bow; lies and not truth prevail in the
land; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they do not know [God]. Let everyone be on
guard against his neighbor, and do not trust any brother; because every brother deals
craftily, and every neighbor goes about as a slanderer. And everyone deceives his
neighbor, and does not speak the truth, they have taught their tongue to speak lies; they
weary themselves committing iniquity."
[Jeremiah. 9:1-3]
Less than 50 years after those words were spoken, Judah was overrun by the Babylonian
war machine as a judgement of God.
Folks, a friendship or a family or a church or a nation of suspicious or cynical people
where there is no trust is on the path to destruction. Trust is essential to life and
relationships.
The second thing I want to say about trust is that
II. Trust is an Earned Commodity.
I suppose there are a few exceptions to that, but not very many. A young woman, raised
in a good family where trust was assumed, might be inclined to hand unearned trust to the
first young man who shows an interest in her. Once she gets burned though, she's much more
careful to trust until she knows such a person is worthy of it. In other words,
if you want her to trust you, you'll have to earn it.
Trust is an issue between parents and teenagers. Teens say, "Why don't you trust
me?" Probably it is because trust hasn't yet been earned. Trust isn't a birthright!
It's an earned right!
If you are sixteen years old and have never gotten behind the wheel of a car, don't
expect me to hand you my keys. First, you have to prove you can be trusted, in this case,
that either you can drive or you're willing to take some instruction, and I want
to know if you are reckless or stupid about responsibility in other areas when you're on
your own.
This issue of earned trust is even more clearly necessary if you have
committed a breach of trust. If, after I handed you the keys, you went out and
drove so recklessly that you destroyed my car, you won't get the keys again because I
don't trust you. In fact, it will be even harder to gain my trust once you've messed
things up! Trust is an earned commodity.
A man can become an elder in the church only after he has proven that he meets
the qualifications and can manage his own household. At issue is this matter of trust. How
had he done with what he already has?
Before a man can become a deacon, he must first be tested according to 1
Timothy 3:10.
I realize you may think I'm dwelling too much on the obvious here, but this issue of
trust being an earned thing is essential to our understanding. Stick with me and I'll show
you why.
III. Trust Is Built On Individual Deeds of Faithfulness.
Perhaps you are a teenager who would like to earn your parents' trust. (Wouldn't it be
great to have more freedom to be able to do things, knowing you're parents trusted you?)
Or, lets take another case. Perhaps, due to things that have happened in your marriage,
there is suspicion between you and your mate.
Or, perhaps you would like to try to qualify for one of the offices in the church and
you realize that trust is a big issue.
I have said trust is earned... What can you do to earn trust? Here are some answers
that come right out of our text:
Be attentive to little things.
Luke 16:10 says, "He who is faithful in a very little thing is faithful
also in much; and he who is unrighteous in a very little thing is unrighteous also
in much."
Guys, I think that is why our wives appreciate us more when we remember and do the little
things for them. Everyone does the big things (birthdays, anniversaries) so these
things don't go very far in convincing them our love is genuine. You've got to do the
little things because that is where trust is built. It takes extra effort to pay attention
to the little things. Seeing to the little things says to your wife, "I really love
you and you can count on me."
There is a similarity between building trust and building muscles. If you want to build
your muscles up you sign up for a weight training program and start working out. But you
don't try to pick up the biggest, heaviest weight you can find right off! Rather, you
start with something small and work up.
Trust is the same. If you want to earn someone's trust, don't sit around waiting for
some big issue to come along, all the while ignoring the little everyday issues. Get to
work on the little things!
Concentrate on telling the truth every time you speak. Those "little
white lies" or "convenience lies" that so many people tell without thinking
about - make it your business to clean them up. When one pops out, go back and admit it
and tell the truth.
That 35 mile per hour zone you take every morning at 50 - make yourself slow down and
go the speed limit - not just when you're watching for the cops, but when no one is
watching!
When you tell somebody you'll be someplace and circumstances make it inconvenient to
carry through, honor your word and show up anyway or at least call if you can't be there.
If someone hands you an extra dollar in change in the checkout stand, hand it back. You
don't have to make a big deal of it or expect some kind of medal. Just hand it back and
say, "Oops, you gave me too much change."
When you parents make a commitment to your children to be somewhere or do something,
keep your word!
When you teens tell your folks where you and your friends are going to be on Friday
night, be sure you're there! If your plans change, give them a call and let them know. If
you can't get them on the phone, come home.
Christians, pay your bills on time. Let your word be your bond. Speak truth even if it
is inconvenient or it hurts.
If you are faithful remembering these little things, the "muscle" of trust
will grow. When a big test comes, you'll be accustomed to doing the right thing and it
will be much easier to resist doing wrong. Better than that, though, those whom you wish
would trust you will see your diligence and begin to put faith in you. God, too, will put
faith in you, and one day, He will say to you what he said to the faithful stewards in
Matt 25:21, "Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful with a few
things, I will put you in charge of many things, enter into the joy of your master"
If you want to earn trust, be attentive to small things.
Be faithful with other's things.
Luke 16:12 says, "And if you have not been faithful in the use of that
which is another's, who will give you that which is your own?"
My grandfather was a real "stickler" with this principle, and I'm glad of it.
His philosophy was, "If you borrow something from someone, always take it back in as
good or better shape than it was in when you took it."
He was a self-employed gardener for a number of years. I remember one time when I was
in the fifth grade I went to work with him for the day. He had borrowed someone's lawn
mower while his was being repaired. I don't think he knew that he was giving his grandson
a lesson that would be carried the rest of his life and someday be repeated in a sermon.
Before returning the mower, he took a rag and wiped it down, flipped it over and pressure
washed the underneath part, cleaned the air filter, and changed the spark plug. Needless
to say, he never had to ask a second time to borrow anything! He was trusted.
But there is a greater benefit than that. God will honor you when you do these
things! He is the one you need to impress, anyway.
Psalm 75:6-7 says, "For not from the east, nor from the west, nor from the
desert {comes} exaltation; But God is the Judge; He puts down one, and exalts
another."
Promotion comes from God! Be faithful with other's things.
Be faithful when no one is watching.
I like that old saying that goes, "What you are when no one is watching is
what you are."
What do you and I do when someone suddenly points a camera at us? Often we hold up our
hand and say, "Wait a minute!" Then maybe we comb our hair or strike a pose
showing our best side. A good photographer, though, who is interested in taking realistic,
interesting photos, always tries to snap his pictures when his subject is
unaware. He'll put on his telephoto lens and get you from a distance when you think no one
is watching.
Those of you old enough to remember the big issues of LIFE MAGAZINE, why was
that magazine so popular? It was all pictures, most of them unposed. Or, for you younger
people, why is it so interesting to pick up an issue of PEOPLE MAGAZINE in the
doctor's office lobby and flip through it? Isn't it because you get to see certain
celebrities as they really are, in real-life photos rather than those posed for
the camera?
What you are when no one is looking, when you are unaware that someone is taking your
picture or studying your actions, is what you really are. By looking at that we learn if
we can really trust you. If you're trustworthy there, it's a piece of cake to be faithful
in the limelight!
Character and integrity, the two things trust is made of, are hammered out on a
three-headed anvil: Attentiveness to small things, faithfulness with other's things,
and consistency when no one is watching.
The fourth thing I want to share with you in this message about trust is this:
IV. Trust Carelessly Lost Is Difficult and Sometimes Impossible To
Regain.
"Burn me once, shame on you! Burn me twice, shame on me!"
Have you ever heard that saying? Think about what it means...
It is much harder to earn someone's trust when they've been burned. In some cases, a
level of trust that has been lost through carelessness can never be regained.
I think of King David of Israel, the "man after God's own heart."
His faithfulness to God and his nation was a model to follow for the first 50 years of his
life. Because of his integrity, the nation of Israel gained its fullest splendor during
those years. God blessed the Israel because of David. But then came the sin with
Bathsheba. Things changed. Someone has said that the influence of David's life resembles
the pitch of a roof. It goes steadily up-up-up until it hits the peak, then it drops off
sharply on the other side. The peak in this case was the serious breach of trust David
made in the incident with Bathsheba and her husband.
That raises an interesting and timely question. Can a leader of God's people suffer a
moral breach of trust and still serve as a leader? Can a preacher or elder run off with a
woman in the church who is not his wife and commit adultery, then repent of his sin, be
forgiven, and return to his place of service? Some would say "yes", others,
"no."
I tend to agree with the words of a popular writer today that I have heard quoted in
several books:
"Ministry is a character profession. To put it bluntly, you can sleep around and
still be a good brain surgeon. You can cheat on your mate and have little trouble
continuing to practice law. Apparently, it is no problem to stay in politics and
plagiarize. You can be a successful salesperson and cheat on your income tax. But you
cannot do those things as a Christian or as a minister and continue enjoying the Lord's
blessing. You must do right in order to have true integrity. If you can't come to terms
with evil or break habits that continue to bring reproach to the name of Christ, please,
do the Lord (and us in the ministry) a favor and resign."
Trust carelessly lost is often difficult to regain. Sometimes it is impossible! No,
it's not that a man cannot be forgiven. There is always forgiveness when the sin
is confessed and repented of. But there is still the issue of trust and trust is a
different thing than forgiveness. Forgiveness is granted on the basis of God's mercy and
Christ's sacrifice. It is always granted freely. Trust, on the other hand, as I
have already said, must be earned. That is why, in most cases, a fallen leader
cannot serve again in the same capacity.
Let's take another contemporary issue. Let's take a case of adultery in the church.
Here is a marriage rocked by the discovery of an affair. Husband and wife are still
together after the thing is exposed, but they find they are having trouble making a go of
it. Why? Because trust has been destroyed and unless it is rebuilt, there can be no
lasting relationship.
Allow me to mention a little side note here. Sometimes distrust is not our fault but is
the result of the mental condition of another.
If you remember the intense distrust King Saul had for David in the early years when
David was his personal musician, had David done anything to deserve the distrust? No!
David did things to build trust, including an incident where he spared Saul's
life, yet Saul still didn't trust him. All the time he was in the palace under King Saul,
David's actions were proper and right and should have built trust. Saul's
backslidden mental condition did not allow him to trust anyone. Backsliders are people
with serious character issues. It is hard for them to imagine that anyone has good
character. Their cynicism doesn't allow them to trust others because they know that they
themselves cannot be trusted.
In the majority of cases, though, with painstaking effort, it should be possible to
rebuild trust to a certain level. With that statement, though, I want to issue a warning,
which is the final thing I want to say to you about trust.
V. It Is Far Easier To Preserve the Trust You Have Gained Than To
Have To Rebuild It After It Is Destroyed.
Yes, sometimes trust can be rebuilt. Parents can trust their children after trust has
been broken. A betrayed marriage can survive, but the process of rebuilding is usually a
long, arduous thing, requiring constant effort and you never come back to the same spot
from which you departed
Conclusion
During the 1982 war in the Falkland Islands between England and Argentina, the Royal
Navy's 3500-ton destroyer HMS Sheffield was sunk by a single missile fired from an
Argentine fighter jet. The incident caused some people to wonder if modern surface
warships were obsolete, like sitting ducks for today's sophisticated missiles. A later
check, however, revealed that the Sheffield's radar defenses did pick up the
incoming missile, and the ship's computer correctly identified it as a French- made
Exocet. The missile could easily have been shot down, but the computer was programmed to
ignore Exocets as "friendly" since France and Britain are allies. The Sheffield
was sunk by a missile it saw coming and could have evaded. It would have been a relatively
easy action to have shot it down before it neared the ship.
I suppose, after the ship was sunk, England could have sent a flotilla of ships and
divers over to the Falklands and attempted to raise the HMS Sheffield. It would be a
mammoth effort and would cost millions of dollars, but perhaps it could be done.
Of course, there would be no way to restore the lives of the men that were lost. The ship
would never be the same again. Even if it could be made to float once more, it would
probably never again be used in combat.
It may be at this very moment that an "Exocet" missile is pointed right at
your home or your family or your Christian testimony. You know what I mean. You are
playing around with something or some things that have the potential to take you and the
ones your love to the bottom of the ocean. It could destroy everything and everyone you
hold dear. So far, you haven't really faced it. Your computer guided radar keeps telling
you that everything is OK. The missile is friendly.
Or maybe you are thinking, "Yes, I know I'm playing with something serious here,
but if all else fails, things can be rebuilt. The ship can be raised."
Don't count on it! Don't fool yourself. Now is the time to identify that missile for
what it is. It is an enemy missile and it will destroy your life. You must to
shoot it down! You must preserve trust!
Build trust in the little things in life. Be faithful when no one is watching. Be
faithful with the things that belong to others. Preserve the bank of trust that you have
already built up. Don't do things that betray the trust of others. These things will serve
you well in life, now and into eternity.
