A Wise Woman Stops an Angry Man
1 Samuel 25
By Dave Redick
Author's Note*

This lady had class. She was a woman of character. She knew that God looks deeper than men look. She knew that such pious participation in the murder of her husband, no matter how he may have mistreated her, would never please God. So, thinking very quickly and wisely, she determined to put herself between this angry man, David, and her foolish husband. She literally put her life on the line for her husband and her home.

Introduction

The following story was forwarded to me off the Internet. Don't try this at home or anywhere else.

A couple of months go by and I get a call for jury duty. I was picked to be on a trial of two guys charged with disorderly conduct. As luck would have it, it happened to be the same two guys. I might have influenced the jury, because when they announced the verdict, they said, "We the jury find the defendants to be guilty, and a couple of jerks!"

When I shared the title of my message with my wife last night, she wisely questioned my use of the term "jerk" in a Sunday morning sermon and I'll just have to say, she was probably right. (She usually is, though sometimes my stubbornness overrules.) You see, I was going to call this message, "King David and the Jerk." I think you'll see why once the sermon is underway. However, with "discretion being the better part of valor," I've changed the title of my message to "A Wise Woman Stops an Angry Man," which, again, I think you will recognize once we get underway.

Getting back to this account of the guy with the speed dialer though, why is it that a story like that tickles something deep inside us even though we know it would not be right to do such a thing? (We do know it wouldn't be right, don't we?) I suggest to you that we love to see someone receive back in kind the trouble they put on others. From the guy pulled over by the state patrol after flying around us on the freeway at 85 mph to the one who is finally jailed for bilking unsuspecting seniors of their life savings, we love to see justice done to a not-very-nice person.

The man we're going to read about in 1 Samuel 25 was not a nice person. Would you join me there in your Bibles?

Actually, this chapter holds the stories of three characters. The first is one was not very nice. The second is a King. The third is one of the sweetest, wisest, bravest, and most gracious women you could ever meet. She's the hero of the story. Let's begin the account.

We're opening the text at a place a thousand years before Christ in those years prior to David's coming to the throne of Israel. The death of Samuel the Prophet was a great loss for Israel, but also a great test of David's faith. It was Samuel who had anointed David to be king some years before this while he was still a lad at home, taking care of his father's sheep. Rightly Samuel had predicted that David would rule on Israel's throne, but so far that had not happened. In fact, it seemed at this point that things were going in the opposite direction. Saul was still sitting on the throne and was showing no indications of vacating it anytime soon. In fact, he was bent on destroying David – a campaign which had gone on for several years with David narrowly escaping with his life on a couple of occasions. Now with Samuel dead, David must have wondered if the prophet could possibly have been mistaken.

David, had been holed up at the stronghold of Engedi. Now he was moving westward, into the rugged sheep ranges of Paran and Maon, apparently in search of sustenance and respite for his 600 "mighty men" and their families who were fleeing from Saul. Picture in your mind this large group of bone-tired people, short on food perhaps, just looking for a place to rest.

You won't find a more mismatched couple in all the Bible than these two. Abigail, the wife, had both beauty and brains. (Her husband seems to have had neither.) We shall see as this story unfolds, other words that could be used to describe this woman might be, "gracious, prudent, loyal, and humble." Her name in Hebrew meant "one who gives joy to her father." I think you'll see that she was properly named.

Nabal, her husband was "harsh and evil in his dealings." Other words that might describe him would be "self-centered, unreasonable, heartless, and cruel." His name in Hebrew meant "fool," and he lived up to it. The writer of Scripture adds that Nabal was a "Calebite." He was a descendent of Caleb, the man who, along with Joshua, gave a good report after spying out the Promised Land before the conquest of Canaan. Caleb also, at age 85, asked to be given the hilly part of Canaan still inhabited by giants. Caleb was one of those hard driving, type "A" personalities who would tackle almost anything with tenacity and determination - the kind who gets things done, but who also tends to be a bit insensitive to those around him if he isn't careful. Ironically, it is often those closest to him whom he hurts the most. Perhaps that characteristic is what is alluded to here, passed on by blood to Nabal.

Nabal and Abigail are truly the "odd couple" of the Bible. If ever there were scriptural grounds for divorce based on "incompatibility" (which there aren't, by the way) this would be this case. While it is often true that "opposites attract," probably this marriage was not one of choice, but rather one arranged by the parents of these two in their youth.

Sheep shearing was a time of celebration among shepherds. It was like payday. David, a former shepherd himself, was requesting that Nabal let him and his men join in on some of the celebration.

That may sound a bit forward to us, but in their culture it was no more out of the ordinary than tipping a waitress - a little recognition for services rendered. You see, marauding bands of thieves were very common in that day, especially from nearby Philistia. Philistine bandits would regularly raid the threshing floors and the flocks of helpless Israelites. During the time that David was in Carmel, he and his men, though hungry at times themselves, had protected Nabal's flocks so that he lost nothing. Now, like the bellboy who carries your baggage up to your hotel room, David was waiting for his tip. It was not a written law, but an accepted custom. No doubt by this time David could use it, since, remember, he was a fugitive. To refuse him in that day was like "stiffing" a diligent waitress. It was an insult.

Count the number of "I's" and "my's" in that verse we just read. There are seven of them. Nabal, though rich, was a self-centered, stingy tightwad!

You don't gird on your sword to go have a gentlemanly chat! You don't summon 400 fighting men to ride down upon a handful of sheepherders unless you are bent on murder! Drop down to verses 21 and 22 and you'll see the reason for the swords.

So what's happening here? I'll tell you. David, after living in holes in the ground for several years now, a fugitive through none of his own dealings, trying to do right by God's anointed though Saul pursued him mercilessly, has finally hit the end of his rope. He has lost it. He and his 400 men are going to go down and slaughter this Nabal.

Wait a minute! If you were to read through 1 Samuel, you would see that just one chapter before this is that story about how David was so patient with Saul in not taking his own vengeance and feeling so guilty about even cutting his robe in the cave. What goes here, David? You so recently provided us with such a shining example of turning the other cheek and waiting on the Lord and now you are going to blow it over some little indignity?

You know what? Yesterday's victories over temptation don't assure us of success against today's problems.

Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:12 - "Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall." Experiencing a great victory in an area of struggle is good for us. We have resisted the devil and seen him flee from us. But don't think that he will stay away. He won't! Just like with David here, he may wait until you're run down and edgy and then he will strike again, often with much less force but far greater results than originally. Don't drop your guard - ever!

God has promised us a way of escape when we're under temptation, and with David it came through this godly woman, Abigail.

At this point we need to stop and consider Abigail. Life with a man like Nabal was no bowl of cherries. (I hope none of you ladies are silently saying "Amen.") She would know it better than anyone. There must have been times when his unreasonableness and lack of sensitivity wore her down. If she had it in her heart to dump him, now would be the time. And there would be few people on earth who would blame her. All she would have to do would be nothing. The rationale would be simple: "At last the Lord is delivering me from this evil man. And He is doing it as a result of Nabal's own stupidity. What a pity. Oh, well."

But this lady had class. She was a woman of character. She knew that God looks deeper than men look. She knew that such pious participation in the murder of her husband, no matter how he may have mistreated her, would never please God. So, thinking very quickly and wisely, she determined to put herself between this angry man, David, and her foolish husband. She literally put her life on the line for her husband and her home.

Now that's what I call "fast food!"

Suddenly she just comes out on her donkey into the path of 401 angry men! At the head of them all is David, and he is hot!

David was ready to murder! He had momentarily lost that spiritual sensitivity he was known for. Anger does that to a person, you know. So often good judgement goes out the window.

And there, face down on the ground, she began to plead for the life of her foolish husband. Would you ladies do that for such a man? Would you do it for your husbands? Would you husbands do that for your wives?

How could Abigail be so bent on protecting her husband though he was so unreasonable and cold? I suggest three things:

She was first committed to her Maker. That is always the basis of conviction when things are tough. It is what makes a marriage strong, even in our troubling days. She cared about what God thought of her.

She was also committed to her marriage. You see, Abigail realized that it is often in a difficult marriage where our faith in God is tested the most. If you are a person of God, you will respect His laws regarding marriage and divorce even when it gets tough.

She was thirdly committed to her mate. She could only do this last one because she had decided to commit herself without reserve to the first two.

God expects you and me to keep the commitments we have made in marriage until death. The only exception to that is adultery. Abigail took her stand and held it. Have you?

Wow! What a commitment. She takes the blame that rightly belonged to her foolish husband on herself.

Notice too, that Abigail doesn't have on rose colored glasses when she looks at her husband. She knows full well what he is - and isn't. Faithfulness in difficulty doesn't come because we deny the truth. It comes because we know the truth, yet choose to be committed to God's way anyway.

Notice that Abigail brings up the possibility that the Lord was restraining David from doing wrong through her intercession. God sometimes sends people to us to intervene in our path when we are bent on doing evil. Don't ever despise them. You may well be despising God and casting aside His "way of escape!"

Proverbs 25:12 says, "Like an earring of gold and an ornament of fine gold is a wise reprover to a listening ear." The moral of the story? When someone reproves you and tries to stop you from doing wrong, don't get mad at them. Instead, listen! They may have been sent from God!

This wise woman's reasoning with David goes this way: "Don't do something now David, (namely commit murder) that you are going to regret later when you become King. Don't put a stain on your record that will later cause you trouble." That is good counsel! If we disobey God in a time of passion, it will come back to haunt us.

O.K. She has made her appeal. Will it be thumbs up or thumbs down? Will David listen as he looks down at her from his panting horse or will he take her out along with her husband?

(Read v. 32-35)

That was the end of David's rage - stopped dead in its vengeful tracks by a wise woman who was committed to God. What a woman! But the story doesn't end there. There is just a bit more.

What a fool was this man Nabal! His faithful wife had just saved his worthless neck while he was home getting drunk! Talk about cause for resentment! Had Abigail been inclined to keep score against her husband, she might well have sent a message back to David to come back and finish what he had started! But, no. Probably like so many nights before this, she retired to her bed alone, without the loving support or gratitude of her husband, in hopes that he might be more reasonable in the morning. That is the kind of thing that causes a wife to pour out her heart to God in anguish!

Some believe that Nabal had some sort of paralyzing stroke or heart attack here. I'm not quite sure. I just know that in a matter of days, he was dead, judged by God for his harsh ways.

There is a warning here for modern day Nabals, isn't there? God will judge them for mistreating those who are weaker. God will judge them for mistreating their wives. They may think that no one sees, but God does. He sees, and He will take vengeance upon them unless they repent.

Listen to Peter's words in 1 Peter 3:7 - "You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered."

Listen to Malachi in the Old Testament: In Malachi 2:15 he says, "...the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant." Guys, God sees every move we make with our wives and He takes note of it. We need to be concerned with what happens behind the closed doors of our homes because He sees every move we make. This passage in Malachi goes on to imply that God takes away His Spirit from men who deal treacherously with their wives. This is serious business, men! Hear me! Proverbs 29:1 says, "A man who hardens his neck after much reproof will suddenly be broken beyond all remedy." We see exactly that happening here.

No, ladies, it doesn't mean that if you just put up with your husband a little longer, God will get rid of him for you and bring you a David, galloping over the hill to your rescue. It does mean, though, that God can turn a situation around in a matter of a few days when it is time. Trust Him.

During World War II the U.S. submarine Tang surfaced under the cover of darkness to fire upon a large Japanese convoy off the coast of China. Since previous raids had left the American vessel with only eight torpedoes, the accuracy of every shot was absolutely essential. The first seven missiles were right on target; but when the eighth was launched, it suddenly deviated and headed right back at their own ship. The emergency alarm to submerge rang out, but it was too late. Within a matter of seconds, the U.S. sub received a direct hit and sank almost instantly - destroyed by its own torpedo that had been aimed at someone else.

What was true of that eighth torpedo is true of vengeful anger - it can turn on you and sink you to the bottom. Even after 7 other's are launched successfully. It nearly happened to David. Don't let it happen to you!

Author's Note: This message was originally a part of the series, "David: The Shepherd King" which resides elsewhere on this website. It was reworked for a special need to be used as a "stand alone" message.

Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.

Copyright © 1996-2008 by The Preacher's Study. Permission is granted to subscribers to use this document in total or in sermon preparation in the context of the local congregation only. Publishing it in a book, on the Internet, or anyplace beyond the local congregation is prohibited.

All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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