Reaping the Results of Bad Choices
 Abraham the Believer: Part 13
Genesis 21:8-21
By Dave Redick

It is not the sowing phase that we encounter as we enter the mid-section of Genesis 21 this morning in our ongoing study of Abraham’s life. It is the reaping phase. It is the harvesting of something that was planted 16 or 17 years prior in a moment of overflowing frustration and passion when Abraham, coaxed on by his wife, Sarah, took matters into his own hands to produce the child that had seemingly been denied him. It was only a temporary lapse of judgment – an act that, from conception in the mind to culmination in the bedroom, probably took less than 48 hours. Yet the consequences, the nails in the post, so to speak, were still there nearly two decades later.

A young boy asked his father how he could overcome some of the bad habits he had acquired. His father pointed to a wooden post in the back yard and suggested that each time he made a bad choice, he pound a nail into it. Whenever he realized his mistake and asked for God’s forgiveness, he should pull a nail back out. This way he could track his progress. Understandably at first there were many nails in the post. As time passed and the boy matured though, there were fewer and fewer nails. The boy reached adulthood, married, and had a son of his own. Wanting to help his boy in a similar way, one afternoon he took him over to his grandfather’s back yard and showed him the post. To his disappointment, it was rotten and barely standing. Though only a few nails remained impaled in it, the many holes left behind where the nails had been allowed rain and weather to penetrate, rotting the wood.

God’s forgiveness removes sin from us. It sustains our hope of eternal life with Him. But even confessed sin always leaves a mark on us. Like nails pulled from a post, a scar remains in the wood of our earthly life, which does not go away. Weeks, months, even years later, though the sins that put them there are forgotten, the holes remain a part of our lives.

Abuse alcohol and drugs. If you can repent, God will forgive you. Yet any damage to your health, any harm done to your family or friends, will remain. Abandon restraint and good sense and live a life of promiscuity. God will forgive you if you can repent. Yet any sexually transmitted disease you pick up, any lives you damage in the process, will remain damaged. Live a life of crime until you are incarcerated. Repent of your sin and turn to

God. You can be forgiven. Yet that will not commute your sentence here on earth.

In the heat and passion of temptation, the potential of these lingering consequences is often ignored. Under pressure, a wrong choice can seem relatively harmless compared to the tough decision to do right, especially if we reason that God will forgive us when it is over and all the dust has settled.

"Do not be deceived," says Paul in Galatians 6:7-8. "God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh shall from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit shall from the Spirit reap eternal life."

It is not the sowing phase that we encounter as we enter the mid-section of Genesis 21 this morning in our ongoing study of Abraham’s life. It is the reaping phase. It is the harvesting of something that was planted 16 or 17 years prior in a moment of overflowing frustration and passion when Abraham, coaxed on by his wife, Sarah, took matters into his own hands to produce the child that had seemingly been denied him. It was only a temporary lapse of judgment – an act that, from conception in the mind to culmination in the bedroom, probably took less than 48 hours. Yet the consequences, the nails in the post, so to speak, were still there nearly two decades later.

Before we read our text this morning, let me turn back the clock to that day when Sarah came to Abraham with her frustrated, ill-fated suggestion. It is recorded in Genesis 16:2:

To anyone not accustomed to thinking in terms of consequences, those words might sound harmless. But like Paul said in Galatians, "Do not be deceived!"

Time has now passed since that fateful night of compromise. The child born of the union between Abraham and Hagar, Sarah’s handmaid, is now a teenager. Ishmael is sixteen or seventeen years old. Another child, Isaac, has been born in the interim – the child of God’s promise, born to Sarah herself, against all the laws of nature, in her old age. Isaac, now a toddler, two or three years old, has just been weaned. In that culture it was cause for great celebration, which is where we find Abraham and Sarah.

We begin in Genesis 21:8 with:

What delight filled the tents of Abraham that day! Weaning the child. It was done much later in their culture than in ours – in some cases as late as the child's fourth birthday. They observed it as a special time, perhaps because theirs was a time of higher infant mortality, or perhaps just the result of a culture which valued children so highly. Then again, we remember that this was a very special child to Abraham and Sarah. I suspect Sarah, as dedicated as any mother ever was, never missed a page as she filled in the blanks of her "Baby's First Year" book.

Who can blame Abraham and Sarah for being so caught up in the joy of the moment. It was hope realized! Dreams fulfilled! Prayers answered!

But not everyone was celebrating that day. Beyond the view of the festivities, probably there in the shadows, was an angry young man who knew his position as firstborn was being supplanted. Slighted. Jilted. Jealous. Seething with anger. All these words describe the disposition of Ishmael, the son of Abraham and Hagar.

The next verses hold the description of:

In his book, The Strong Willed Child, James Dobson observes in a combination of truth, humor, and desperation,

"If American women were asked to indicate the most irritating feature of child rearing, I'm convinced that sibling rivalry would get their unanimous vote. Little children (and older ones too) are not content just to hate each other in private. They attack one another like miniature warriors, mobilizing their troops and probing for a weakness in the defensive line. They argue, hit, kick, scream, grab toys, taunt, tattle, and sabotage the opposing forces... The big loser from such combat, of course, is the harassed mother who must listen to the noise of the battlefield and then try to patch up the wounded. If her emotional nature requires peace and tranquillity (and most women do) she may stagger under the barrage of cannonfire." (1)

As frustrating as such sibling rivalry is, I think what we have here in our text is much more serious. For nearly two decades a jealous rivalry has existed between the two mothers involved – Sarah and Hagar. Hagar, the younger one, the household slave, contrary to what Sarah expected, in sudden arrogance despised Sarah after she had conceived Ishmael. (2) Sarah, on the other hand, resented Hagar for the unexpected rivalry the ill-advised act had produced. In turn, Hagar must surely have brought Sarah's childlessness to her attention at every possible opportunity. If you recall, Hagar had fled Sarah's harsh treatment one time already. (3)

Such parental rivalry, like a contagious disease, is bound to be transferred to the children.

By the way, in passing, let me point out that in every case of the Bible where we are shown any details of the effects of polygamy on a family, the results are bad, not good, just as we see here. When God spoke in Genesis 2:24 of the man and his wife (singular) becoming one flesh, I believe He left us a pattern. One husband. One wife. That's God's standard.

Verse 9 of our text says that Sarah saw Ishmael "mocking" Isaac. Paul amplifies that a bit in Galatians 4:29 where he says, "he who was born according to the flesh [Ishmael] persecuted him who was born according to the Spirit [Isaac]…."

This was no childhood game. It was a manifestation of the hatred that resided in Ishmael for his half-brother, Isaac. And at his age, he was fully capable of causing Isaac grave bodily harm if that hatred were to snap.

Sarah's demand that Abraham drive Hagar out, though at first it sounds cruel, was not that unreasonable, in my opinion. That is seconded in the fact that God went along with it, as we shall see in just a moment.

So where was Abraham in all this? He was miserable! His family, all of whom he loved deeply, was disintegrating before his eyes!

Oh how Abraham must have loathed the day he caved in to Sarah's request to take her handmaid for a wife!

What we see here, folks, are consequences. The immutable law of sowing and reaping. It's not just the wicked who are subject to it. No one has immunity from its prosecution.

People sometimes come to me (and others like me) and say, "I've messed up my life. Now tell me what I need to do to fix it. What do I need to do to get away from all these problems? I’ve always heard that God has answers. So what are my options?"

More often than not I have to tell them that there is no choice that I can see that will remove the consequences they face. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but the "best" choices are gone. They passed them up back down the road when they ignored God's counsel. Because they rejected them then, the options remaining are now the bad and the worse. The proverb has come true. The chickens have come home to roost. They must now face the music. They are reaping what they have sown. It's a sobering realization to face.

Of course, there is still a choice. It's the same choice that was there before. If they will stop the foolishness and put God first now, and cease putting more bad seed into the ground, perhaps they can lay some sort of a good prospect for a better harvest in the time they have remaining. Sadly, many people are no more willing to make tough choices now than they ever were.

Abraham wasn't like that. He wasn't about to make another stupid choice that he would have to reap later. Thus we find next in our text:

Can you imagine the pain Abraham felt in going along with Sarah's demand? It must have torn him in two to send his son, Ishmael, away!

Question: Was God unjust in telling Abraham to send the boy and his mother away? Wasn't this unfair to Ishmael? He didn't ask to be born into a family of bickering women!

Of course, one obvious lesson to heed here is that those consequences we considered earlier spill over into the lives of sometimes innocent others. It's another good reason to make good choices in the first place. For the family of Abraham, the "good" choices in this case were now gone. All that remained were the tough, "bad" ones. Besides, remember what I spoke of last time regarding God's preservation of the "seed" spoken of in Genesis 3:15? With Satan to fan the flames of Ishmael's hatred of Isaac, it is very conceivable that had Ishmael stayed in the family and the rivalry been allowed to escalate, he might have killed Isaac, thus ending the blood line of the "seed of woman."

God did the best that could be done in a messed up circumstance. He separated the contending parties and He promised survival and proliferation for Ishmael. Abraham was not sending the boy and his mother to their deaths in the desert. God would assist them in getting a new start.

But there is something else here. In the next chapter of Genesis we will see Abraham face the ultimate test of his faith – the call to offer his "only son," (4) Isaac, to God. Isaac wouldn't have been Abraham's "only son" had Ishmael still been a part of the Patriarch's household. The test Abraham would face in chapter 22 would not have been nearly as telling had Abraham had another son to fall back on in the face of the potential loss of Isaac. In removing Ishmael from the scene, God was removing Abraham's last resort of the flesh.

You don't spend many hours studying the Bible before you learn that God expects us to trust Him, to place our faith in Him for our security. He also wants us to increase that faith. It's easy to describe but much harder to do.

By nature we tend to trust the flesh more than God. For instance, we learn in the Bible that we are not to trust in riches, but in God alone. Yet all of us know that the more money we have in the bank, the more secure we feel. Sometimes, in order to expose our misplaced trust, we must experience setbacks. Said another way, the things we trust in here on earth must be jeopardized and sometimes even removed before we really learn to trust God.

Thus, in removing Ishmael, God was removing Abraham's last refuge of the flesh.

In that vein, I wonder how many "Ishmaels" God will need to remove from you and me in order to teach us to trust Him? How much of our security will need to be put into jeopardy? Make no mistake about it. The real issue that is going on between us and God is this matter of learning to trust Him. We come to God in faith, casting aside our old life and accepting a new life in Him, but we unwittingly bring along vestiges of the old life. Our old ways of coping endure, surfacing each time there is a crisis. If we are to grow in faith, these things, one at a time, must be exposed, removed, and replaced by our trust in Him. It isn't an easy process, but it is necessary if we are to "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ." (5)

"Do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you which comes upon you for your testing, as though some strange thing were happening to you," wrote Peter in 1 Peter 4:12-13, "but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing; so that also at the revelation of His glory, you may rejoice with exultation."

Let's get back to the story. What we see next is:

Let's back up and re-read verse 14.

Away from the tents of Abraham, as described in these verses, we see an entirely different drama taking place. Unfortunately, we don't have time to dig into it. Suffice it to say that Hagar is experiencing a bit of "reaping" herself in this matter. Yet God didn't leave her and the boy there to die.

So God sustained the line of Ishmael because of the faith of Abraham.

Let's see if we can make some application of all of this..

Perhaps the greatest lessons for us from this passage lie in the area of consequences. Let me distill them into three pieces of advice that should fit any of us.

The best choices are those that present themselves early on, when there is no crisis. You are never in a greater position of advantage than when you can prevent a problem from happening in the first place. It's so much easier to crush a snake's egg than it is to contend with a four-foot-long poisonous viper!

The Bible is a textbook of instruction designed to teach you and me how to avoid making the kinds of mistakes that fill our lives with trouble. In fact, there is far more instruction about prevention given in the pages of this book than there is about remedy once problems are upon us.

King David, no stranger to serious consequences brought on by wrong choices, offers this advice in Psalm 32:8-9:

Horses are flighty animals. It's hard to get them to stand still when they are not trained. Mules are stubborn animals that resist change, even when it is best for them. Neither of them uses the power of reasoning. If others don't step in with bits and bridles, they run wild and are of no use. Human beings can be, and often are, just like that. At times when they could, if they would listen, listen to counsel and make wise choices, they are stubborn and flighty.

We must cease such behavior and listen to good advice if we are to avoid making bad choices in the beginning.

No one can make all the right choices and avoid all of the problems of life. Our next best hope then is to make as few mistakes as possible and learn how to deal with the results of those we do make. My favorite passage on dealing with consequences that are already in place is Galatians 6:7-10. If you will listen to these words and heed them, in time, they will turn your life around. Listen:

That part is nothing new. We read it earlier. The way to deal with the "reaping" comes next:

The greatest mistake people make in times of reaping consequences of bad choices is to become frustrated ("lose heart" as it says here) with doing what is good and right and make even more bad choices!

For instance, after years of taking her for granted, a man is suddenly deserted by his spouse. No amount of pleading will bring her back. So, rather than set himself to learn what went wrong and make corrections so that the future won't hold more of the same, in frustration, he starts drinking and carousing. "What good would it do to change now?" he reasons. Soon he is mired in even more problems.

Or perhaps a woman, married to an abusive husband, is suddenly deserted. Instead of taking the time to learn to not make the same mistake in a second marriage, in her insecurity, she panics and marries the first guy who speaks sweetly to her, who turns out to be as bad or worse than the first. She's "out of the frying pan, into the fire."

A time of reaping consequences needs to be a time of learning new responses to the choices available so as to make the right ones. It isn't a time for compounding the problem with more bad choices.

Why learn everything the hard way? Wouldn't it be better to read the stories of people who have made the same kind of mistakes, see how they suffered, then avoid their mistakes? That's what much of God's word is all about!

I don't understand people who say they are bored with the Bible. I don't understand how people can consistently daydream through lessons and sermons from God's word as though God's instruction had nothing at all to do with them.

Jesus once said to a crowd of people who were looking to Him for a free meal because of the miracles He had done, "The words I have spoken to you," said Jesus, "they are spirit and they are life." (6)

They are life! The very issues of our being are found in God's words.

Whether we listen or not, God's words are still true:

Prayer:

Heavenly Father, all too often we are like the horse and the mule that David spoke. Flighty and stubborn, we don't listen to You. We don't do what You say. And we pay dearly in consequences. I pray that at least a portion of this message from Your word might lodge in our hearts and make a difference the next time any of us is faced with choices that have heavy consequences. As always, we thank You for Your grace that has brought us this far. We depend upon You for our very being. We honor You for Your wisdom. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Footnotes: Use your "back" button to return to your place.

1. James Dobson, The Strong Willed Child (Wheaton, Ill.: Tyndale House Publishers, 1978), pp. 126-27, as quoted by Charles Swindoll in Abraham, the Friend of God.
2. Genesis 16:4
3. Genesis 16:6
4. Genesis 22:2, 12, 16
5. 2 Peter 3:18
6. John 6:63

Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.

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All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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