David:The Shepherd King, #17
What to Do When God's Answer is "No"
2 Samuel 7
By Dave Redick
Hwy 20 Church of Christ, Sweet Home, OR

"Thus says the Lord, 'You shall not build a house for Me to dwell in.'"

That sounds pretty final, doesn't it? David could easily have interpreted it as a slap in the face. Especially since it appears from this chapter and the parallel one I mentioned that David had only the highest motives for wanting to build this temple. "It isn't right for me to live in a cedar house while God lives outside in a tent!" Nothing wrong with that motive! David had a heart overflowing with love for God and a desire to serve him. He was gratefully conscious of all God had done for him and the nation. It seemed only right that he should build God a temple. But God said "no."

Introduction

Let me suggest to your mind this morning several scenarios that are not too uncommon among true Christians:

Scenario #1: A single woman in her middle to late 30's has long wanted to be married and have a family, but has not found a Christian husband. She has poured her heart out to God for years asking Him to help her, but she has remained single. Now it is beginning to look like she will never find the husband she desires. Her dreams seem broken.

Scenario #2: The only child of a couple in their late 30's has leukemia. The doctors have given him less than 6 months to live. His parents and the members of the whole church have prayed without ceasing for the boy. Day by day, however, he has gotten worse. Finally he dies. Their dreams of a family die with him.

Scenario #3: A young man desires to be a missionary on a foreign field. He is sure it is the Lord's will. He sacrifices to get his training but when it is nearly complete, he falls ill. Both of his kidneys fail. His years of dreams for the mission field die as he is told that he will never be able to live in an area away from the medical attention he needs.

Scenario #4: A successful Christian businessman has long desired to build and support a Christian "halfway house" for recovering drug addicts. It is the passion of his life. His plans have been made. Finally, construction starts on the new facility. His dream is about to be realized. Then, suddenly, his business takes a plummet. In a matter of several months he is financially wiped out. Not only does he lose his business, but his plans of service to the Lord are lost as well.

Each of these scenarios contains the disappointment of a broken dream. Each of them contains a desire to do something for the Lord, yet, in each case, in His sovereign will, God apparently said, "No."

How is a Christian supposed to respond to such broken dreams? How is he or she supposed to deal with those times when God says, "No"?

I realize that it is not always easy to conclude that God has given a "no" answer to our aspirations. Sometimes, instead of a "no" answer, what we receive is a "later" answer. But for the sake of our consideration in this message, I want to ask the question, "What are we to do when God says 'no' to something we treasure?"

Rather than just tell you what I think is the answer to that question, I want to refer to a passage in the Bible where a "man after God's own heart" had to deal with just such a situation. King David of Israel had a dream. He wanted to build a temple in Jerusalem to replace the tent like tabernacle that was the center of Israel's worship. He had no ulterior motive in his desire. He wanted to do it solely for God's glory. But God said emphatically, "No! You will not be the one to build a temple for me in Jerusalem. Someone else will do that for Me." David handled his disappointment properly. If we can learn how He did that, we will learn how we can do the same.

Let's look at the story over in II Samuel 7.

This chapter falls naturally into two parts. Verses 1-17 describe the account of God refusing David. Verses 18-29 describe David's response to the disappointment. As we read it, try to put yourself in David's shoes, or, better than that, make application as you remember that time when God said "no" to you.

I. God Says "No."

(Read v. 1)

The period of security we read of here was a time in David's life when he could relax and enjoy the fruit of his labors and God's blessing.

There was peace in the nation of Israel after years of war. The long war with the house of Saul was over. The kingdom had united behind David. The nation's enemies had been beaten back and her borders were secure. David also was enjoying domestic peace, that is, peace in his home life. (This was before the sin with Bathsheba and the many family problems it would cause.) So, in this time of rest, perhaps one night sitting in front of the crackling fireplace of his cedar house (built for him by the King of Tyre), an idea came to him. Why not build a permanent dwelling place for God? A temple! We don't know if this was his first thought of it or whether perhaps it had occurred to him before, but as the idea took shape, David got excited about it and summoned Nathan, the prophet.

(Read v. 2)

Nathan listened to him, and then responded.

(Read v. 3)

To Nathan, it sounded like a great idea.

What could be a better way to honor the God of Israel? "Go for it, David!" Little did either of them realize that what they were planning was outside the will of God.

(Read v. 4-7)

Now, though the language of this chapter seems a bit uncertain as to whether or not God was expressing a definite "no" answer, there is no doubt that was what He was saying. There is a parallel passage to this one in I Chronicles 17 that describes this same event in language that removes all doubt. In that passage it says,

"And it came about the same night, that the word of God came to Nathan, saying, 'Go and tell David My servant, "Thus says the Lord, 'You shall not build a house for Me to dwell in.'" (I Chronicles 17:3&4).

That sounds pretty final, doesn't it? David could easily have interpreted it as a slap in the face. Especially since it appears from this chapter and the parallel one I mentioned that David had only the highest motives for wanting to build this temple. "It isn't right for me to live in a cedar house while God lives outside in a tent!" Nothing wrong with that motive! David had a heart overflowing with love for God and a desire to serve him. He was gratefully conscious of all God had done for him and the nation. It seemed only right that he should build God a temple.

And it was a right thing to do! Some 30-40 years into the future, God would indeed make use of a temple built for Him by David's son, Solomon. But, as for David building that temple, God's answer was an unequivocal "No!"

There is a lesson in that: God sometimes says "no" to things that are good and right from our perspective.

That is difficult for us to understand. Why would God reject a perfectly good idea proposed by a man with no other intention than to glorify Him? Why would He say "no" to something that seemed so right?

That question really leads us to the second lesson of this passage: God doesn't always explain why He says "no." Now, you might think I'm copping out here, but if you examine this passage carefully, you will not find that God gave David any reason for His refusal.

Yes, apparently later it was revealed that God denied David the privilege of building the temple because he had been a man of bloodshed, but you don't find that reason given here.

Often that is the case with us living today as well. God doesn't immediately give us the answers we so desperately want. I guess an application of that might be that I shouldn't think something is wrong with me if I can't produce an answer as to what God is up to.

A British preacher who considered this problem writes:

"A few years ago it was my privilege to visit in Paris, France, a very famous old building quite near Notre Dame Cathedral called Sainte-Chapelle, the "chapel of the saints." The outside of that building is the drabbest and dirtiest thing imaginable. It is so very old, and the windows are covered with dust. But go inside (and all who visit Paris go inside Sainte-Chapelle), for when you stand looking in a certain direction, you can see the world famous Rose Window. I doubt if there is any more beautiful stained glass window in the world than that. You could stand there for hours spellbound by the loveliness of it. Outside you had your back to the light and you saw nothing but blackness. Inside, as you face the light streaming through the glass, you see nothing but beauty. It all depends upon your point of view." ⁽¹⁾

Our point of view as to why God says "no" for the moment often yields what the outside of that famous cathedral yielded. Only blackness and ugliness. But we must realize that there is another view...God's view!

God's words to David through Nathan continue in verse 8.

(Read v. 8-17)

Yes, God would have a temple. But it would be David's son, Solomon who would build it.

A third lesson is there for us with just a little thought: Though God wanted a temple, it isn't God's plan that everyone build temples. God has His own plans as to who does what in His kingdom. He has a special plan for each one of us as to what he wants us to contribute. I'm reminded of Paul's teaching in Ephesians 4:11-12:

"He gave some as apostles, and some as prophets, and some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, for the equipping of the saints for the work of service, to the building up of the body of Christ."

From that we know that God doesn't have the same plan in mind for everyone's life. We are variously gifted for various jobs. God made David a warrior, not a temple builder. And God has uniquely gifted you, too, for something. I'm not entirely sure what that is, but if you are striving to find it, you will.

A fourth lesson from this first half of the chapter is this: God honored David's intentions even though he didn't allow him to build the temple. Reading only this chapter we are studying, this refusal by God almost seems like a slap in the face to David. But elsewhere we learn that was not the case.

In II Chronicles 6:7-8 we read of Solomon's account of this: "Now it was in the heart of my father David to build a house for the name of the Lord, the God of Israel. But the Lord said to my father David, 'Because it was in your heart to build a house for My name, You did well that it was in your heart."

In other words, God honored David for the thought that was in his heart (his intentions) even though he did not allow David to build the temple. I'm really glad that is true!

If ever God says "no" to something you would like to do for Him, don't conclude that He doesn't appreciate your honorable intentions! He will reward you for your desire to please Him even if you do not get to consummate your plans.

Perhaps it is like a child who comes to his parent and says, "I would like to mow the lawn for you." And the parent responds, "No, I have already arranged for your brother to do that when he gets home. But I certainly appreciate your thoughtfulness and good intentions. Thank you!" That is what God did for David. And God appreciates our good intentions as well.

Well, that brings us down to part two of this chapter:

II. David Responds.

Before we look at David's response, let's quickly consider the normal tendencies WE have in the aftermath of a broken dream in which God has said "no."

Perhaps our most common response is despair. We are so disappointed we want to sit down, give up, and let our life go to waste. "What's the use?" we say. "I tried to serve God to the best of my ability, I did all that He told me to do, I prayed, I fasted, and look what happened. I give up!"

Sometimes, too we begin to think that we must have done something wrong to deserve God's refusal. To that let me ask you, had David done anything wrong in his desire to build a temple for God? No! Actually, God's refusal was more a redirection. David was in God's plan, and so was a temple, but in a different way than he thought. A "no" from God doesn't mean God has quit using us or doesn't care. He simply has a different plan.

So, let's look at David's response.

A. His very first move was to go to the Lord, not away from Him.

(Read v. 18a)

If you have been a Christian very long, ask yourself how many people you know who have left the faith in the aftermath of such a disappointment. There have been many! But not David. Though He did not understand fully God's reasons for the refusal, He trusted Him. He didn't leave God. He went to God. Proverb 3:5-6, written years later by David's son, Solomon, says

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

That is exactly what David did.

B. The second part of David's response was that He acknowledged God's sovereign right to decide what was best for him.

(Read v. 18b)

"Who am I, O Lord God? What is my house? Compared to You, I'm nothing." I'm reminded of Paul's instruction over in Romans 9:20:

"Who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, 'Why did you make me like this,' will it?

Sometimes we forget that God is the potter and we are the clay! He molds us, we don't mold Him! Yet, sometimes, we try to when things don't go the way we think they should.

C. The third element of David's response is that he acknowledged the magnitude of God's wisdom compared to his own.

(Read v. 19-21)

"Thou knowest Thy servant, O Lord God." In other words, "Lord, You know me! You know what is best for me! I acknowledge that."

Some of you are old enough to remember the old TV program called "Father Knows Best." The title of that show expressed the once accepted idea that Dad has the most wisdom, so we should trust his judgement. Of course, human fathers don't always know what is best, but the Heavenly Father does! In every case. He knows what He is doing in your life and mine, even though it sometimes looks to us as though He doesn't. Do you trust Him? David did and is declaring that trust in these verses.

D. The fourth element of David's response was this: he praised rather than pouted.

(Read v. 22-24)

I remember a certain two evangelists, their story told in the book of Acts. They had preached their hearts out to an unreceptive, rebellious, crowd of idol worshippers. As a result they were arrested, beaten, jailed, and fastened in stocks for the night. And what were they doing at midnight? Singing!

When it seems like midnight has come upon you because God has said "no" and it has caused the death of a dream you held very close, do you sing? Do you praise or pout?

E. The fifth element of David's response to this disappointment was that He accepted God's will, he didn't fight it.

(Read v. 25)

I know that few of us would dream of praying to God without adding somewhere in our prayer, "According to your will, Lord." But do we really mean that when we say it? Do we mean it even when His will goes a different direction than our own? Even when His will says "no"? David, though told that he wouldn't build God's temple, another would, said, "Confirm it Lord!" - in other words, "Your will be done!"

F. The final element of David's response was that if he couldn't fulfill his dream as he had wanted, he would find happiness within the realm of what God did allow.

David's response to God's "no" is not found in this chapter. Rather, it is found in I Chronicles 22:1-5.

There we find what David busied himself with from the time of receiving this "no" until his death. Let me just read it to you.

"So David gave orders to gather the foreigners who were in the land of Israel, and he set stonecutters to hew out stones to build the house of God. And David prepared large quantities of iron to make nails for the doors and the gates and for the clamps, and more bronze than could be weighed; and timbers of cedar logs beyond number...And David said, 'My son Solomon is young and inexperienced, and the house that is to be built for the Lord shall be exceedingly magnificent, famous and glorious...Therefore, I will make preparations for it.' So David made ample preparations before his death."

He couldn't build the temple, but he could surely get the materials ready! He couldn't oversee the project, but he could certainly support the one who would!

David wasn't one of those who says, "If I can't lead it, then I won't be involved!" He was a servant of God, willing to be used in whatever capacity God willed.

If you can't build, then gather for the one who can. If you can't go, then support the one who can. If you can't have a family of your own, then do things to strengthen the ones around you. If you cannot start a ministry of your own, then go get involved in helping someone who can. There is always plenty you can do, even after God says "no".

Conclusion

Alan Redpath, writing in his book, THE MAKING OF A MAN OF GOD, said these words:

"I think that sometimes He [God] has more to teach us from His denials than from His permissions..."⁽²⁾

Most certainly that is true if we seek instead of sulk in the wake of a denial.

Vance Havner, a well known preacher of a generation ago, once told the story of an elderly lady who was greatly disturbed by her many troubles both real and imaginary. Finally, she was told in a kindly way by her family, "Grandma, we've done all we can do for you. You'll just have to trust God for the rest." A look of utter despair spread over her face as she replied, "Oh, dear, has it come to that?" Havner commented, "It always comes to that, so we might as well begin with that!"

Indeed, it is true. When God says, "No," there is only one right response. From it all these other things flow. We must trust. It always comes to that...

1. Alan Redpath, THE MAKING OF A MAN OF GOD, STUDIES IN THE LIFE OF DAVID, Fleming H. Revell, 1962, p. 169.

2. Ibid., p. 167.

Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.

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All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

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