David:The Shepherd King, #20
The Truth About Sin in the Believer
II Samuel 12:1-15
By Dave Redick
Hwy 20 Church of Christ, Sweet Home, OR
David's adultery was a sin against God, against Bathsheba, against Uriah, against the child born out of his adultery, and against his own family, particularly four of his own sons. Yes, the innocent suffer when a man or woman sins. Adultery is especially bad in that regard. We should always remember that! If you start messing around with someone who is not yours by marriage, you take the welfare of your entire family to bed with you. Don't do it!
Introduction
The following words come from THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE, by Gary Smalley and John Trent:
His leaving had been abrupt and unforeseen. His wife had come home from shopping one day and found the note on the refrigerator.
The words were brief and cold. He was tired of trying to make their marriage work. He had found another woman he said he really loved. He was leaving. He had already seen a lawyer and had the divorce papers drawn up. He would be dropping by in a couple of weeks to deliver the papers and say goodbye to the two children.
That family was devastated. The wife was shocked. In the intervening two weeks she vacillated between anger and grief. The older daughter, Kimberly was volatile in her anger. Young Brian, the five year old, was withdrawn and cried a lot.
Two weeks later, he drove into the driveway, got out of the car, but left the motor running. The woman was in the passenger side of the car. There was a lot of shouting on the porch when he coldly refused to come in. He dropped off the papers in a manila envelope, stormed off the porch and drove out of their lives, leaving their family in shambles.
He refused counsel. He refused to seek reconciliation. He refused to listen to the church. He set his jaw in disobedience to God and disregard to anyone who approached him. It appeared that he would never turn around.
What can be said to a man like that to get through the thick walls of rationalization and self justification he has erected around his heart? If we could only know.
One night, when everyone else was asleep, his oldest daughter wrote him this letter:
Dear Daddy, It's late at night, and I'm sitting in the middle of my bed writing to you. I've wanted to talk with you so many times during the past few weeks. But there never seems to be any time when we're alone.
Dad, I realize you're dating someone else. And I know you and Mom may never get back together. That's terribly hard to accept -especially knowing that you may never come back home or be an "everyday" dad to me and Brian again. But at least I want you to understand what's going on in our lives.
Don't think that Mom asked me to write this. She didn't. She doesn't know I'm writing, and neither does Brian. I just want to share with you what I've been thinking.
Dad, I feel like our family has been riding in a nice car for a long time. You know, the kind you always like to have as a company car. It's the kind that has every extra inside and not a scratch on the outside.
But over the years, the car has developed some problems. It's smoking a lot, the wheels wobble, and the seat covers are ripped. The car's been really hard to drive or ride in because of all the shaking and squeaking. But it's still a great automobile - or at least it could be. With a little work, I know it could run for years.
Since we got the car, Brian and I have been in the back seat while you and Mom have been up front. We feel really secure with you driving and Mom beside you. But last month, Mom was at the wheel.
It was nighttime, and we had just turned the corner near our house. Suddenly, we all looked up and saw another car, out of control, heading straight for us. Mom tried to swerve out of the way, but the other car still smashed into us. The impact sent us flying off the road and crashing into a lamppost.
The thing is, Dad, just before being hit, we could see that you were driving the other car. And we saw something else: Sitting next to you was another woman.
It was such a terrible accident that we were all rushed to the emergency ward. But when we asked where you were, no one knew. We're still not really sure where you are or if you were hurt or if you need help.
Mom was really hurt. She was thrown into the steering wheel and broke several ribs. One of them punctured her lungs and almost pierced her heart.
When the car wrecked, the back door smashed into Brian. He was covered with cuts from the broken glass, and he shattered his arm, which is now in a cast. But that's not the worst. He's still in so much pain and shock that he doesn't want to talk or play with anyone.
As for me, I was thrown from the car. I was stuck out in the cold for a long time with my right leg broken. As I lay there, I couldn't move and didn't know what was wrong with Mom and Brian. I was hurting so much myself that I couldn't help them.
There have been times since that night when I wondered if any of us would make it. Even though we're getting a little better, we're all still in the hospital. The doctors say I'll need a lot of therapy on my leg, and I know they can help me get better. But I wish it was you who was helping me, instead of them.
The pain is so bad, but what's even worse is that we all miss you so much. Every day we wait to see if you're going to visit us in the hospital, and every day you don't come. I know it's over. But my heart would explode with joy if somehow I could look up and see you walk into my room.
At night when the hospital is really quiet, they push Brian and me into Mom's room, and we all talk about you. We talk about how much we loved driving with you and how we wish you were with us now.
Are you all right? Are you hurting from the wreck? Do you need us like we need you? If you need me, I'm here and I love you.
Your daughter,
Kimberly
A week after sending her father that letter, Kimberly stayed home with Brian and her mother rather than attend an evening high-school football game. Actually, nursing a broken heart, she just didn't feel like cheering and laughing with friends. That evening, her father showed up at the house to talk to her.
"Kimberly. How's your leg, honey?"
"My leg?"
"I got your letter."
"Oh...well, it hasn't been doing too well."
"I'm sorry I hurt you so badly, Kimberly. You don't know how sorry I am. Your letter came when I didn't know if I could ever return to the family. I felt I'd gone too far... but your story showed me how much pain I'd caused you all. Is your Mom upstairs? I'm not promising anything, but I think we need to get some help. There's a lot we have to work out. I'm going to give it all I have."(1)
Proverbs 25:11 says, "Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances." The NIV renders it, "A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver."
The right words, wisely and carefully chosen, by this young girl, turned her hard-hearted father around. Such was the case also many years before this as that wise confronter and prophet of God, Nathan, with well chosen words, broke through the fortified defenses around the stony heart of the King of Israel, David. The story is told in II Samuel 12.
I won't rehearse the details of the scandalous story that is the backdrop of chapter 12. Most people know them anyway. Suffice it to say that King David has committed adultery with Bathsheba, the wife of one of his valiant soldiers. (The stories in the news today about adultery in the military and rank-and-privileged cover up are nothing new.) When it was discovered that she was pregnant, rather than confess his wrong, he tried to cover it up. In the process he ordered the murder of Uriah, the woman's husband. After the days of mourning were completed, he moved Bathsheba to the palace to make the cover-up complete except for one thing that is mentioned in the last verse of II Samuel 11: "But the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the Lord." It is so certain that you can take it to the bank that whenever you read words like that in the Bible, you haven't heard the end of a story. Such is the case here.
Nearly one year transpired between the events of chapter 11 and those of chapter 12 - a year in which David lived a sham - the life of a hypocrite. Then, suddenly, things began to move.
(Read v. 1a)
Nathan was God's prophet, a wise and courageous man, as we shall see. Listen to the "timely words" he carefully chose to steal through David's defenses and cut all the way through to his heart:
(Read 1b-4)
Given the suddenness of David's response in the next verse, it looks as though Nathan hardly finished his story before David's righteous indignation boiled over.
(Read v. 5-6)
Isn't amazing how the human heart is so quick to condemn others and yet it can be so blind with regard to itself?
David seems totally unaware that he has just slipped his head into a noose of his own making. As quickly as he said the words, Nathan drives home the truth.
(Read v. 7-12)
At this point I see David in my mind's eye as sitting there with his mouth open in utter shock.
Referring to Nathan's approach to David, Alexander Whyte once said, "David's sword was within inches of David's throat before David even knew he had a sword!" Such were the effects of the words of this wise reprover. David's rationalizations were devastated. His defenses and self justifications were demolished. There was nothing he could say without denying the obvious.
(Read v. 13a)
Stop and look at David's confession. No excuses. No extenuating circumstances are brought up. No "temporary insanity" plea is lodged. David, rocked by the lightning swift strike of Nathan's reproof, hangs his head in shame and says simply, "I have sinned." We'll talk about his confession and repentance in a few moments.
(Read 13b-15)
As quickly as he had stepped into the room to confront David, Nathan steps out, leaving David alone with the whole sham in tatters around his feet.
There are many things we can learn from this passage that are applicable to us today. We could study Nathan's wise approach to David and learn things about confronting those in sin. We could study the courage of Nathan and probably find the need for the same in our own lives. We could talk about the sorrow of true repentance and about how it differs from the sorrow of the world (that is, the sorrow of getting caught). But we'll save each of these for another time. In this message I want to point out four truths about sin in the believer.
I. The One Who Hides Sin In His/Her Own Life Is Often The One Quickest To Condemn Others Without Mercy.
David was ready to execute the man in Nathan's parable, and had God's law allowed the death penalty for such an offense, I'm sure he would have ordered it. Yet, he himself was guilty of the same sin to a far greater sin extent. Talk about a double standard!
By the way, that is the nature of the human heart. You and I, if we are not constantly vigilant, can become highly critical of others, even in the midst of harboring wretched sin in our own lives. Jeremiah was right: "The heart [of man] is more deceitful than all else and is desperately wicked..."(2) Solomon agreed fully with that in Ecclesiastes: "...the hearts of the sons of men are full of evil, and insanity is in their hearts throughout their lives."(3)
Never drop the guard on your heart, especially in the way you deal with others! Don't trust your heart to guide you, because it will lead you astray. David was ready to destroy a man who had done the same thing he had done on a far smaller scale.
Jesus said, "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log is in your own eye?...You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."(4) He did not, as some believe, condemn judging others here. He removed the realm of judging others from the possession of those who harbor sin in their own lives! If you find that you are highly critical of others, anxious to call down fire from heaven upon them without mercy, stop and examine yourself first. Is there something there that shouldn't be? In a twisted trick of the heart, the anger you feel for another may be the anger that you yourself deserve.
Remember, the one who hides sin in his own life is often the quickest to condemn others.
II. In Order To Do What He Did With Bathsheba, David Had To Despise God and His Word For a Time.
I realize that is strong language, but we need to face the truth of this passage. That is the way God looked at it. Look closely at verse 9 & 10.
(Re-read v. 9-10)
I have heard both adulterers and adulteresses minimize their sin by saying such things as "I really didn't mean anything by it. I just got carried away," or "It was just a little fling. Nobody was hurt. Everybody has to step out once in awhile." But that is not the way God looks at it. When we disobey willingly and knowingly, we despise His Word. When we despise His Word, we despise Him. In order for David to sin, he had to push God and the remembrance of God's Word out of his life. Otherwise, his conscience would have condemned him far sooner than it did.
One who truly loves God will not constantly push God and His Word aside. If you harbor unconfessed sin in your life, you need to realize that you are despising God! You may not see it that way, but that is how God takes it. You need to repent if you have any love for God left! Do it today!
III. When God Forgives A Penitent Sinner, He Does Not Remove The Temporal Consequences.
Verse 13 says, "The Lord also has taken away your sin; you shall not die." The penalty for adultery under the Law of Moses, according to Leviticus 20:10, was death.(5) Both the man and the woman were to be stoned. God took away this penalty when David confessed. But look back at what was not taken away when David confessed.
(Read v. 10-12)
This would be fulfilled when David's own son, the young man Absalom, in utter spite for his father, led an army against David's palace, drove David out, put a tent on the roof (where did David's sin begin? On the roof!) of the palace where all could see, and violated each of David's wives.
But that isn't all of it. There was also the matter of that sword that would never depart from David's house. Back up in verse 6, David had ordered for the man of whom Nathan spoke, a fourfold restitution. Did you pick up on that?
(Reread v. 6)
According to Exodus 22:1,(6) this was the penalty prescribed for the theft of a sheep. There is a fulfillment of that in David's ongoing story. Before David's life was finished, he would see four events that were probably the culmination of this fourfold decree. Each of them involved a death:
