If we think of grace only as something that God extends to us, we’re missing the big picture. God gives us grace all the time, but we’re to extend His grace by passing it along to others. Let me challenge you to be proactive in this. Be an agent of God’s grace to the members of your family, the people you work with, your church family, and even the strangers you come into contact with every day. Grace is so radical and so rare that when you show it, people will be changed for the better.

Grace is one of those "church words" that we often use and just assume everyone knows what we mean when we use it. Grace is, however, quite foreign to many people and so it probably needs to be defined before we really get into talking about it. Grace is simply a gift given for no meritorious service. There is no promise of repayment, and little or no proportionate expectation placed upon the receiver. When we talk about the grace of God, we’re usually referring to the gift of salvation He gives us in Jesus Christ. We can do nothing to earn our salvation, and we cannot repay the debt after receiving the gift, so it is truly grace - an undeserved gift. That is a simplified definition of grace. It is a little incomplete, but for our purposes today, it will suffice.

Of course, when you talk about the grace of God, you cannot stop with a definition of grace from perspective of God’s gift to us and leave it at that. No, to talk about God’s grace, you also must talk about our being "grace-givers," or "agents" of God’s grace. Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 9:8, "God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." When we live out our lives, acting in the way that God wants us to, we pass along His grace to others. What He gives us - grace - we’re supposed to pass along to others in nearly every aspect of our lives. The apostle John said, "We love because he first loved us." It’s the same with grace: We’re to give it to others because we’ve received so much of it from Him.

The problem is that this does not come naturally to us. Sometimes being receivers of grace is tough. What often happens is that we either believe we’re good enough for God, and therefore don’t need His Grace, or we believe we are so bad as to be beyond His love. Neither of these is true. But, being a grace-giver, a person who extends grace to others, can be even more difficult.

Sometimes we are ungracious to others because of jealousy, or sense of entitlement. In Matthew, chapter 20, there is a parable Jesus told about grace and God’s kingdom.

Philip Yancey, in his book, What’s So Amazing About Grace, says that we have an "inbuilt resistance to grace" and this story, I think, speaks to that and describes it very well. Back in Jesus’ day, common laborers were hired by the day and paid at the end of each day. What Jesus describes here was a normal situation for that time, except that those who worked only a half day, a quarter of a day, or even just a single hour were paid a full day’s wage. Those men who worked the whole day were upset that they received only the same amount as the others who hadn’t worked as long. They were upset about this even though they were paid what they’d agreed to work for at the start of the day! Frankly, sometimes I can understand their anger.

While we’re thinking along these lines, how about the story of the "Prodigal Son?" Did you ever read that and sympathize with the older brother - you know, the one who didn’t demand his inheritance early, the who didn’t go off and waste it - the son who stayed at home and worked faithfully on the family farm? Fred Craddock once tinkered with the details of this parable in a sermon and had the father slip the ring and robe on the older brother, then kill a fatted calf in honor of his years of faithfulness and obedience. When Craddock did this, a woman in back of building called out, "That’s the way it should have been written!"

Did you ever feel that way? Upset when someone else got off easy? Bitter when someone didn’t get what they deserved, but instead received so much better than their actions merited? In many ways, I believe we don’t like grace because it is unfair and we seem to be overly preoccupied with the idea of fairness. We have an innate sense of justice, fairness, and egalitarianism; and so when things don’t seem fair to us, we’re quick to get a strong sense of righteous indignation and want to do something about the offensive unfairness. Before we make our rounds as self-appointed "fairness police" however, we would do well to remember that we don’t really want fairness and justice where God is concerned. The scary truth is that fairness and justice from God would mean that we each go to Hell, because our sins separate us from God and send us there. As it stands, however, we receive God’s grace through Jesus Christ and all of our sins are not counted against us, but simply overlooked by God because Jesus already paid price. Grace isn’t fair, that’s true. But we don’t really want what is "fair" and we’re getting a much better deal than "fair."

It is so easy for us to forget this and be un-gracious to those around us and fail to be agents of God’s grace. David Seamands, author & counselor writes this:

If we truly understand God’s grace, then we’ll live it out in our lives and extend grace to others on a daily basis.

Now, what does a grace-full life look like? How should we practice grace in our every-day lives? While it is a nearly limitless subject, let me offer a few suggestions about areas of where we can practice grace with others.

The other day I was at the house of an older lady, who has cancer, visiting with her and her son and his wife. Somehow the conversation came around to when her children were growing up. Seems she demanded that they address all the ministers they knew as "Mr. ______." It didn’t matter how well they knew them, they were not allowed to call them by their first names, but always "Mister ______." As we talked, I got the distinct feeling that if she had her way, she would still have insisted that her son - a man who’s been a faithful Christian since before I was born - call me "Mr. Helt" instead of "Derek."

I’m not urging anyone here to do this —just plain-old "Derek" is preferred. And please, certainly never use "Reverend" when referring to me - but I do think this does go to show just how much our discourse and language have devolved over the last two or three generations. We live in a coarse, ill-mannered era. We watch TV shows where not only do the people in them regularly and casually use words that they would never have even thought to use just twenty years ago; but the way people speak to each other in these shows is downright mean, belittling and un-gracious.

Once a little boy’s mother was furious with him. "Young man, where did you learn to talk that way?" she asked. The boy hesitated, looked at his father, then asked, "Well, Dad, should I tell her?" I’m first to admit that I have a tendency to be a bit of a "smart-aleck" sometimes, and occasionally it gets me into trouble. But we speak to children in ungracious, hurtful language or tones, we’re probably doing more damage than we realize at the time.

Paul wrote in Colossians 4:6, "Let your conversation be always full of grace." I think this means we shouldn’t use many of the expressions and words that are in common usage today - words and phrases that are almost always put-downs of one type or another. Our culture likes to "play rough" language-wise, but bullying people with our words is ultimately an act of violence, or at least not very far removed from violence.

This does not mean that we need to be unassertive, timid people who are always running from arguments for fear of offending people’s sensibilities. No, our example in this area is Jesus, who sometimes used satire and irony, and He certainly wasn’t afraid to speak forthrightly when the need arose. He didn’t pull His punches when the subject and opponents warranted it. Yet, the Bible also tells us in Proverbs 15:1 that, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" Think about how your words will be understood before you speak, especially around children and people who look up to you.

If I were going to have a more theological, biblical way of stating it, I’d probably refer to it as forbearance as Paul stated it in Ephesians 4:2. What I’m talking about is this: there are all sorts of good, well-meaning Christian people who get all worked up about any number of things that they see other Christians do that they believe they shouldn’t, or about things they do not do that others think they should. Erma Bombeck describes what I’m getting at pretty well in a column:

I’m often asked, in my capacity as a preacher, "Why are there so many different churches?" I usually begin my answer by explaining that sometimes there are good reasons why churches split off from others and form their own group or congregation. Maybe someone has adopted a belief that is clearly not taught in the Bible and some see it as an important enough issue that they feel they can do nothing less, in good conscience, than separate from the group teaching the dangerous error. But I don’t stop there when answering the question. I also explain that much of the time, splits happen because self-righteous Christians decide to major on minors and not cut others any slack at all.

Just look at history. Some used to persecute the Quakers because they wouldn’t tip their hats when they met others in public (I don’t know why they wouldn’t tip their hats or why this offended others). Others used to debate the morality of dyeing their clothes. No matter what our views on such things, I would bet that if each of us examined the things we felt strongly about, every one of us would be guilty of making some of our opinions into doctrines and blurring the line between traditions and essential practices. The ugly truth is that many of the things we associate with Christianity are simply not taught in the Bible.

Paul wrote in Romans 12:18, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." That’s not always possible, unfortunately, but I’m certain that it is more possible than we usually make it. Let’s practice grace by cutting each other some slack in life.

This is similar to cutting others some slack and forbearing with them, but it is different enough that I wanted to address it separately.

Some time ago, I was riding with our associate minister in his car. We were on Highway 101 in the downtown area and I saw these people crossing the street ahead of us, holding up all sorts of traffic, including us. Immediately, I assumed that they were not using the crosswalk and I made some comment along the lines of, "What’s up with these people, getting in our way?" As we got a little closer, I noticed they actually were using the crosswalk and I had just begun to feel a bit sheepish and a little ashamed when my friend said, "Well, they are in a crosswalk." And I said, "Yeah, you’re right, I didn’t notice that."

But even if they hadn’t been in a crosswalk, what would have been the big deal? Maybe they delayed us 20 or 30 seconds. Am I such a good manager of my time that I need to get impatient about an extra half-minute spent on the road? I don’t think so.

It is so easy to be impatient, to tell our children, "Hurry up with that and get out of my way!" when that type of language isn’t needed at all. It’s so easy to get uptight about how slow the server in the restaurant is to come when you wave him or her over to warm up our coffee. It’s so easy to be angry with the people who are going the speed limit, but you’d prefer to go 5 miles per hour faster. It’s far too easy to get short with your spouse because he or she is not reading your mind as fast as you think they ought to. Un-gracious words and attitudes born out of impatience infect our lives.

The Bible says we are to "… be patient, bearing with one another in love." That is our instruction from God’s word in this area. And you know what? When you show patience, that will be remembered a lot longer, and more will be learned from it, than when you grow short of patience and give voice to your frustration.

When I learned to drive, I learned on a car with an automatic transmission. Afterward, I needed to learn how drive a stick. We had a '74 Volkswagen Super Beetle and that was the car that I learned to drive with a manual transmission. My dad was trying to teach me how to drive a stick shift, but he was frustrated that I kept popping the clutch, worried that I’d burn it out and that it would cost a bundle to get it replaced. I, too, was frustrated with my inability to grasp what seemed like such a simple concept.

So one Saturday we were out driving and we were both grumpy. The situation was about to explode into something we both would have regretted later. I said to my dad, "Just let me take it out by myself!" He said, "Okay, that might be best." So, I got into "the old Bug," as we called it, started it up, put it in reverse, and gave it some gas while slowly letting off the clutch … it rocked back a bit, then I popped it and it died.

I tried it again … and the same thing happened. My dad was standing nearby with the hose, pretending to water the plants. On maybe the third or fourth try, he came up to the car window and without any hint of a smile or a frown, he mouthed one word to me through the car window: "Brake." I’d forgotten to disengage the parking brake and that was causing me to pop the clutch and kill the engine each and every time.

My dad could have been impatient with me at the time. He could have laughed at me, given me a hard time, or called me a stupid kid. But he didn’t. He clued me in. I went on the ride by myself and he never said another word to me about it. That was 20 years ago and I still remember that act of patience and restraint that my dad showed that day. Patience is in such short supply in this world that when we show some, people will remember it and God will be glorified. Show grace to others by being patient with them.

We show grace by being considerate of other people. Paul wrote to Titus in Titus 3:1-2, "Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men." (NIV)

This past summer we visited some old friends at their home in Michigan. These friends have five children. When we stayed with them for a week, that made for eleven people in one house … with only one bathroom between us. Believe me - that is a situation that calls for lots of grace and consideration! Anyway, we noticed that they have, on the wall, a list of 21 household rules they got from some author. I won’t give you the whole list, but both my wife and I noticed one rule in particular: "Don’t make extra work for other people."

I think that is a pretty good definition of consideration. It seems like so many people nowadays don’t show consideration for how the things they do or don’t do might affect other people. I see people all the time who routinely make extra work for others because they don’t pick up after themselves, or they don’t do what they said they were going to do, or they just don’t tell others when their plans change and that change of plans affects them directly.

It’s difficult to call them on these things because most of these issues are viewed as minor and we can come across sounding petty if we say "Hey, you didn’t clean up your coffee spill," or nag them about some other minor infraction. But we need to realize that all these little things add up and when we take advantage of people’s grace and goodwill, we’re not showing them the grace of treating them as equals. In fact, we’re not recognizing their time as valuable. When we needlessly make extra work for other people, we’re really telling them that we’re more important than they are and that our time is more valuable than theirs, since we expect them to expend time and energy cleaning up our messes.

These things are not unforgivable sins, but they are symptoms of lack of consideration toward other people. This kind of selfish attitude and behavior is common in the world. But we’re called to think of others first and consider how the things we do (even the small things) affect other people. Let’s work on giving grace by being considerate of those we live with, worship with, work with and come into contact with in the course of our lives.

If we think of grace only as something that God extends to us, we’re missing the big picture. God gives us grace all the time, but we’re to extend His grace by passing it along to others. Let me challenge you to be proactive in this. Be an agent of God’s grace to the members of your family, the people you work with, your church family, and even the strangers you come into contact with every day. Grace is so radical and so rare that when you show it, people will be changed for the better.

 

Permission is granted to subscribers to use this document in total or in sermon preparation in the context of the local congregation only. Publishing it in a book, on the Internet, or anyplace beyond the local congregation is prohibited.

 

The author of this sermon, Derek Helt,  may be reached at: derek-nfcc@charter.net

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