The Need for Masculine Leadership in the Home
"...in many homes, both in the nation and in the church, men are AWOL from this role. Some have abandoned their families altogether. Others have either given up or bowed out of their role. Some are missing because they are lazy and don't want to take on the responsibility. Others do not lead because the social pressure spawned by radical feminism has forced them out and they fear standing against the tidal wave of anti-masculine sentiment. They opt to simply surrender."
Introduction
"And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the
discipline and instruction of the Lord." (Ephesians 6:4 NAS)
The following article was sent to me at my email address by an anonymous source. I usually
discard such things without reading them, but the title caught my eye. It's called
"The Feminizing of America." It was written by Chuck Baldwin who is a talk show
host in Pensacola, Florida.(1) I'll comment on it once I have read it to
you.
Recent news reports stated that one of the reasons President Bush decided to take a
more active role in negotiating a peace settlement in the Middle East was because of his
concern that women voters were being "turned off" by pictures of dead bodies
from war-torn areas in and around the West Bank. Keeping women voters happy seems to be a
high priority for politicians these days, and for good reason - America is now a
thoroughly feminized country.
Subscribe to any cable or satellite service and one will discover an abundance of women's
channels. Do these channels promote traditional femininity? No. They promote radical
feminism instead. At the same time, trying to find a men's channel is an exercise in
futility, because it does not exist.
To find a masculine president, one has to go back to Ronald Reagan. Before that, however,
the vast majority of U.S. presidents, Republican and Democrat, exuded masculinity and
manliness. Those days are over.
Today, women must be appeased and catered to. They are the heads of businesses, the heads
of churches, and the heads of their homes. In politics, the women's vote is usually the
one that turns the election. Women serve on military ships and in military operations.
They dictate their children's upbringing (which explains why most of them grow up
undisciplined and spoiled, by the way) and have the final word on virtually all family
decisions. Such a phenomenon is the sign of a nation in trouble. God's prophet warned that
one of the marks of a nation under divine judgment is when "women rule over
them." (Isaiah. 3:12)
The exact cause of the feminizing of America is difficult to pinpoint. Did radical
feminism cause men to abandon their God-given responsibilities, or did that abandonment
create the vacuum from which radical feminism grew? It is the old chicken or the egg
question. However, one thing is sure: men have abandoned their responsibilities of
leadership, and our nation is going down the tubes because of it.
In the black community, the vast majority of children are being raised without a father.
The white community is not far behind. Furthermore, in those homes where fathers do exist,
they are largely detached and provide no real influence. Mom is in charge, and everybody
in the household knows it. It was not always this way, however.
There was a time in this nation when rugged men taught their sons the qualities of
manhood. Boys grew up learning how to box, how to wrestle, how to play football, etc.
Today, America's boys only know how to play girls' games. They have never had their noses
bloodied or their butts bruised. "Soccer Moms" have replaced disciplinarian
dads.
Then again, there was a time when a man's primary interest was not in guzzling a pack of
Budweiser and sitting all evening in front of the "boob tube" while ignoring
virtually everyone in the house. There was a time when men took their families to church
and taught their children the fundamental values of honesty and integrity. Believe it or
not, there was a time in America when men took pride in being the spiritual heads of their
homes. They actually knew how to balance a checkbook and how to read the Good Book. They
were the kind of men that women loved and children respected.
However, the feminization of America is so complete, so thorough, that I am not certain if
old-fashioned, masculine men are even desirable anymore. You would not know it by looking
at our politicians, or our preachers - that is for sure. Therefore, President Bush (and
everyone else) will continue to appease the feminist majority (male and female) that
comprises this new, feminized America.
The author's comments about feminized politicians and preachers notwithstanding, the more I thought about Chuck Baldwin's article, though I didn't know of him before I read the article, the more I found myself agreeing with him - especially when he spoke of the absence of masculine leadership by fathers in the home.
My assignment is to speak to you about challenges to our family relationships and how going back to the "Old Paths" of biblical values can help us meet them. My first response to that assignment was to wonder what I could possibly say in the time allotted since there are so many challenges facing the family. Things are getting so bad that some are even predicting the demise of the traditional family (albeit some of the same ones making this prediction would love nothing more than to see such a thing happen.) In the end I decided to choose the one issue that, it seems to me, must be resolved before the others can even be faced. That issue is this: There must be someone in the family who is charged with the responsibility to watch for danger, to protect, to provide, and to lead. In the terms of biblical values, that means masculine leadership in the family. God has placed the responsibility for dealing with the challenges that come up against the family into the hands of husbands and fathers.
Yet in many homes, both in the nation and in the church, men are AWOL from this role. Some have abandoned their families altogether. Others have either given up or bowed out of their role. Some are missing because they are lazy and don't want to take on the responsibility. Others do not lead because the social pressure spawned by radical feminism has forced them out and they fear standing against the tidal wave of anti-masculine sentiment. They opt to simply surrender. Still others have forgotten altogether what the role of a husband and father is supposed to be or perhaps they were never even taught in the first place.
We are paying a high price in our society for the devaluing of traditional and biblical roles in the family. According to the National Fatherhood Initiative:(2)
 | 4 out of 10 U.S. children today grow up without their father at home. |
| 30% of families in the U.S. are headed by a single parent - more than any other country in the world. |
| There were 5.1 million U.S. children living apart from their fathers in 1960. By the year 2005, that number is expected to be 22.2 million - an increase of 440%. |
| 20% of U.S. children live in poverty, most in fatherless homes. |
| 70% of violent criminals - including 72% of adolescent murderers, 60% of convicted rapists and 70% of long-term prison inmates - grew up without fathers. |
| 70% of juveniles in state reform institutions come from single-parent homes. Children without fathers are at greater risk for health and behavioral problems. |
One can only imagine what the future holds for those four out of ten children who are raised without fathers as they begin to have children themselves.
We are paying another high price in the devaluing of traditional, biblical roles in the family, and this chronic absence of fathers. I refer to the epidemic of gender confusion. While the experts argue about the causes of homosexuality and lesbianism, it is not hard for me to imagine that it could easily be related to the role confusion going on in the homes of America. If men are feminized and women are masculinized by design to such an extent that it no longer means anything to be male or female (one of the major goals of radical feminism) then where is a boy supposed to learn what it means to be a man? Where is a girl supposed to learn what it means to be a woman? One of the major theories in psychological circles as to the cause of homosexuality is a boy growing up with a domineering mother and a passive, withdrawn or uninvolved father. I know that some would say that such a statement is an oversimplification of the problem, but perhaps those same folks would also argue diminish the importance of male/female roles.
Several years ago I attended a seminar presented by the Portland Fellowship, a religious based group of professed recovering homosexuals and lesbians. They opened up their meeting to preachers in the Northwest. I went to learn firsthand what some of these people went through as they strove to break away from their sinful past. A number of the participants got up and told their stories and I was amazed at something I heard over and over again. Each one described how they had either a passive or absent father. Afterward I stayed to speak to one of the area counselors used by the group for referrals. His words only verified the testimony of those who spoke. He said the majority of those men he counseled had a similar background of dominant mother/passive, absent or uninvolved father.
Thus I suspect that another of the great threats to our families, that of homosexuality, is rooted in the battle over traditional gender roles and is included in the fallout of what Chuck Baldwin called "The Feminizing of America."
Do the "old paths" of the Bible have anything to say to our increasingly "fatherless" generation? Could a trip "back" to the Bible lead us to a future of brighter prospects for our families? I have no doubt about it.
The Bible contains everything we need to reverse these trends and heal the problems of our nation if it were simply heeded. But we will see improvement only when a generation of godly men is willing to resume responsibility for fatherhood and masculine leadership.
Because we seem to be losing fatherhood and masculine leadership in the home, it's good to review what the Bible says about fathers.
The word "father" appears 355 times in the New American Standard Version of the New Testament. It appears 735 times in the same version of the Old Testament.
The Apostle Paul cast light on the role of fathers when he wrote of his kind affection and fierce concern for the Thessalonian Christians in 1 Thessalonians 2:11 in these words: "We were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children…." In Paul's day that took very little explanation in the church.
The same Apostle exhorted fathers in the church at Ephesus with the words: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."(3) To the Colossians he wrote a similar exhortation: "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, that they may not lose heart."
Most notable as we read about masculine leadership and the role of fathers in the Bible is the number of times the Scripture refers to our relationship with God as that of a child with his or her Father.
Perhaps you muse that I'm dwelling on the obvious, or beating a "straw man" here, but don't be too hasty in your conclusion. These issues are being seen and voiced in prominent places among some very prominent people. You may already be aware of the very public departure of former President Jimmy Carter from the Southern Baptist Convention back in 1999. Were you also aware that the religious group he joined, the very liberal Cooperative Baptist Fellowship promotes ordination of women into ministry, acceptance of practicing homosexuals as Christians, and the addressing of God as either neuter or female gender? That's right - prayers to "Our Mother God."(4)
Have you stopped to think about what kind of instruction and example for fathers we would lose in the Bible if the "gender neutral" folks succeed in neutering all references to God as male? I'm going to run through a partial ist of things we know about the role of fathers simply by examining the Biblical role of God as father. Every on of these would be altered to near meaninglessness if the references to God as masculine and as father are removed. If you are a father considering the importance of your role, I encourage you to consider each of these as relevant to you. For instance:
God the Father acknowledges the need of fathers. We see that in how He has voiced His concern for the needs of the fatherless and the widow. According to James 1:27, He puts the needs of the widow and the fatherless in highest regard and calls upon those who love Him to give such people special care and attention because they lack something very important. That something is a father. I don't think God the Father would agree with feminists today who hold that the role of fatherhood is not that important.
God the Father is an involved Father. Having raised four children of my own, I recall how different each of them was and that it took special time and attention to really understand their unique needs. The same approach didn't fit all of them. I had to know each of them personally. Matthew 6:8 tells us that our Heavenly Father understands each of us so well that He knows what we need even before we ask Him. That takes involvement, so we learn from God's example that fathers must be active participants in the lives of their children. They're not absentee or passive participants in the family.
God the Father loves His adopted children. In some circles, with some people, being adopted carries a stigma, as though a father cannot love his adopted children as much as his biological children. A question that many parents ask is, "When should we tell our child that he or she was adopted?" as though there were something inherently damaging in the knowledge of adoption. I have news for you… We're all adopted! That's right. There is only one "only begotten Son" of the Heavenly Father and that is Jesus.(5) Yet Romans 8:15 tells us, "You have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, 'Abba! Father!'" We're all adopted! That word "Abba" as a Middle Eastern term of endearment and many of us are probably familiar with the passage in Romans 8:15 where it is used. But did you know that "Abba" was also the way Jesus addressed His father in the time of His stress before the crucifixion? When Jesus was facing the anguish of the cross, He said, as recorded in Mark 14:36, "Abba! Father! All things are possible for Thee; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what Thou wilt." What does that mean? It means that God the Father has brought His adopted children into the same close relationship as He has with His only begotten Son! Thus a good earthly father, in following the fully adequate example of fatherhood shown by the Heavenly Father, will fully love both his biological and adopted children.
God the Father is a reassuring father. Telling us of the Heavenly Father's concern even for the common sparrows when they fall to the ground in Matthew 10:29, Jesus reassures us with these words: "You are worth far more than sparrows." In fact, so concerned is God the Father for each of His children that even the hairs of our heads are numbered. Children today need reassurance of their worth. In school they are told that they are animals. In society they are given a number and told they are consumers. Among their peers it's "survival of the fittest" or, better said, "survival of the meanest" or perhaps, "survival of the most belligerent." Eventually, life beats them down to the point that a word of reassurance from the right source would go a long way to keep them from turning to the more evil elements of their peers. Few things give more assurance than the words and acts of a loving, concerned, supportive father. Reassuring fathers are greatly needed in our modern world.
God the Father is a generous father. According to Matthew 7:11, the Heavenly Father knows how to give good things to His children when they ask Him. If we ask for an egg He doesn't give us a snake. He is generous, yet wise in the giving of His gifts, giving us exactly what we need even during those times when it may not necessarily be what we want. Many fathers today don't want to be bothered with the time demands of their children. They give to their children all right, but they do it as a "buy off" substitute for their presence and involvement. God's fatherly generosity gives us what we really need and his gifts are truly good, not spoiling His children. This is the kind of generosity earthly fathers should emulate.
God the Father is a consistent Father. James 1:17 tells us there is no variation or shifting shadow with God the Father. He is reliable. We can count on Him to do what He promises. How many cases do you know of where earthly fathers promise things to their children but then don't carry through? A few words from the well-known song, The Cat's in the Cradle, portray this common problem with fathers:
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
But the "good time" never comes.
God the Father isn't like that. He's consistent. His words don't shift.
God the Father is a firm Father. Hebrews 12 speaks of God's discipline of His children. He's firm. He's fair. He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. He disciplines every one of His children. None of us, if we are in God's family, goes without discipline. To many fathers today, their understanding of discipline is yelling and striking in anger. They are not firm. They are not fair. They're angry and out of control. God's fatherly example could rectify this.
God the father is a giving Father. He gives to us sacrificially, out of love, though He doesn't owe us anything. Unlike some earthly fathers, He's unselfish. Though he is the owner of everything, he gives His best gifts willingly. John 3:16 says, "For God so loved… that He gave…"
God the Father is a faithful Father. In Hebrews 12:5 we read a quote from Deuteronomy 31:6: "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you…." Oh, how much more stability we would see in our society and in our homes if fathers would make that same promise to their wives and their children and then keep it! Yes, His children are free to leave Him if they choose. We see that in the story of the Prodigal Son. But God the Father will always be faithful. "I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you."
God the Father is a caring Father. In that famous "Prodigal Son" parable in Luke 15 we see fatherhood in action. We should probably call the parable, "The Loving Father" rather than "The Prodigal Son," because that's really what it's about.
You know the story. The younger son, thoroughly duped by the apparent glamour and appeal of the far-away country, packs his bags and heads out to conquer the world. He won't be stifled by the limits of his dad's backward ways! His father, though it must have pained him beyond words to see his beloved son depart on such a fool's errand of self-destruction, gives him his inheritance and lets him go. It's hard for fathers, as their children grow up, to give them the freedom to make their own choices as adults - especially when they know those choices are wrong. I've seen fathers under such circumstances either reach out to try to control them (something that cannot be done once they are adults) or go the opposite direction and disown them. God the Father did neither. He gave the boy his freedom though He knew the pain it would bring to both himself and his son. It's agonizing to care! It's emotionally draining. That's why some fathers cut off their wayward children. It is hard to let them make their own mistakes, especially when they carry the honor of your good name with them and you know they're going to grind it into the dirt. Yet God the Father let His son go. When the boy finally exhausted his resources and came to his senses, he left the pigpen and headed back home. In the parable, Jesus makes special mention that the father saw him while he was still a long way off. The only way those words make any sense is to understand that the father must have been going out every day to scan the horizon in the hope that his son would return. It's painful to maintain that kind of hope and concern - to go out each day longing to see your son, then to be disappointed when the horizon is empty of the one human form you long to see returning. It's easier just to write them off. But God the father didn't write off His wayward son. He continued caring without interfering with the young man's freedom of choice. Many homes today hold very bitter fathers. These fathers are bitter because their children have turned away and rejected their teaching. If you are one of them, I encourage you to rethink your position. Look to God the Father for the right thing to do. You won't find a more perfect example or guide.
God the Father is a merciful and forgiving father. Though seen in many places in scripture, the Prodigal Son parable is again one of the best places to see this in action. The boy had squandered all the money his father gave him. He was destitute. And, by the way, who absorbed the loss in time and money and anxiety and frustrated hope for the wayward boy's foolishness? Who suffered the most? Who had earned that money the wayward son squandered? Who bore the shame of disgrace to the family name? The father! I'll tell you, I would rather eat pods in a pigpen every day for the rest of my life than to have one of my children be away from the Lord. Yet He forgave His son when he returned. He showed him mercy, a move that even his older son didn't understand.
The last verse of the Old Testament is Malachi 4:6. It contains a prediction of a time when John the Baptist would come in the spirit and power of Elijah to "restore the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest God come and smite the land with a curse." It is very significant that God mentioned this relationship between fathers and children as a necessary element in preservation of the nation from the curse of God.
Is the greatest threat to the family the loss of masculine leadership in the home? Only God knows such things for sure. I say again, though, that it is very difficult to deal with any challenges to the home unless there is godly, masculine leadership present. We live in very troubled times. People have lost sight of (mostly turned their backs upon) fatherhood. A look backward to these things would definitely put us ahead in the future.
Footnotes: User your back button to return to your place
1. http://www.chuckbaldwinlive.com/
and
http://www.covenantnews.com/baldwin020405.htm
2. http://www.vahealth.org/fatherhood/datavfc.htm
3. Ephesians 6:4
4. See JIMMY CARTER JOINS HANDS WITH FEMALE GOD IDOLATORS at: http://www.wayoflife.org/fbns/jimmy-carter-joinshands.html
5. John 1:14
Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.
Copyright © 1996-2008 by The Preacher's Study. Permission is granted to subscribers to use this document in total or in sermon preparation in the context of the local congregation only. Publishing it in a book, on the Internet, or anyplace beyond the local congregation is prohibited.
All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.
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