In conjunction with our series from the Sermon on the Mount, and more specifically, Jesus’ teaching on divorce, I thought it might be good for me to present a short overview of what the Bible teaches on marriage, divorce, and remarriage for the Christian. A number of you are new to the faith and would do well with an overview. Those of you who have been in Christ for a time can also benefit, I believe, from a review of the subject.

I generally like to carefully work through a subject in the Bible, explaining the conclusions I have reached which make up the teaching that I present to the church. However, sometimes there may not be time for careful and critical study. Answers are needed now. What is called for is a quick overview that surveys an entire subject. That is what I endeavor to present here.

Here is the question we will deal with in this message: "Can you give a reasonably short summary about what the Bible teaches for Christians on the subject of marriage, divorce, and remarriage?" So please understand that while I will cite book, chapter, and verse for what I say, a more detailed look, with additional verses perhaps, would be fully appropriate and might be necessary for the discerning student of the Bible.

I will present my points as statements so that you may know where I stand. We’ll start with marriage in this lesson, and then cover divorce and remarriage in additional lessons.

Genesis 2:24-25
24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

Notice that Eve was called Adam’s "wife" in this passage – not his "live in" or his "girlfriend." The life partner of a "wife" is a "husband." Though we find no record of a wedding ceremony, these two were married. When Jesus taught from this verse in Matthew 19:6, he indicated that God joined them together: "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." If God makes a marriage then man cannot disregard it as merely a human arrangement that can (some might say "should") be set aside for something else.

The marriage bond is so complete that God describes it as "one flesh," i.e., it is like two people living in the same body.

In the later part of the Old Testament, God’s people had become loose in their laws and practices pertaining to divorce. Speaking for God, the prophet called them to account on their actions.

Malachi 2:13-16
13 "And this is another thing you do: you cover the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping and with groaning, because He no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 "Yet you say, 'For what reason?' Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 "But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then, to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. 16 "For I hate divorce," says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and him who covers his garment with wrong," says the Lord of hosts. "So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously."

In the midst of this admonition we find an excellent definition of marriage. Verse 14 says, "…she is your companion and your wife by covenant."

In the marriage covenant a man and a woman, in the presence of God, pledge their faithfulness to one another for life. This is a legal arrangement. Romans 7:2 says, "For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband."

Sometimes people say that a marriage isn’t "consummated" (a word meaning "completed" or "brought to fruition") until the physical union on the wedding night. However, the couple is just as "married" ten minutes after they solemnize their vows as they are day after the honeymoon. If sexual relations equaled marriage, then every fornicator would be married. Every adulterer would be considered married to more than one person. Multiple fornicators would be guilty of polygamy or polyandry. The concept of marriage would be meaningless.

Likewise, sexual relations with someone other than one’s spouse (adultery) does not, in and of itself, "break" a marriage. Otherwise, a couple who survived an adulterous relationship would need to be remarried. Marriage is broken when there is divorce, which repudiates the marriage covenant.

Marriage is a covenant (see #2 above). Therefore, so-called "common law marriage" is not marriage at all, but rather is extended fornication. Sinful fornication does not suddenly become righteous "marriage" after some arbitrarily state-designated period of time.

When Jesus commented on Genesis 2:24 in a conversation with the Pharisees in Matthew 19, He said in verse 6: "What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." Though Jesus did prescribe a single allowance for divorce in Matthew 19, He said that God did not intend divorce "from the beginning." (Matthew 19:4)

When God said "I hate divorce" in Malachi 2:16 (see #2 above) I believe it is reasonable to conclude that even though sometimes divorce is allowed and perhaps even necessary, God hates the consequences that tear up the lives of His people. Even a justified divorce can devastate the lives of family members and many of the things that lead up to divorce are sinful.

Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

An adulterer is one who has sex with someone who is not his or her spouse. A fornicator is someone who has sex outside of the bonds of marriage. The marriage bed is "undefiled" in that sexual relationships in that context are allowed and even commanded. God wants it to stay that way.

Matthew 19:10-12
10 The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry." 11 But He said to them, "Not all men can accept this statement, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother's womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. He who is able to accept this, let him accept it."

A "eunuch" is one who needs no sexual relations (or has chosen to forego sexual relations for a religious reason).

God does not approve of choosing to remain single in order to have "free sex" without the responsibility of marriage. Such behavior is called "fornication" and those who practice it will be condemned.

1 Corinthians 6:9-10
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

Hebrews 13:4
… fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

1 Corinthians 7:39
39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

While this passage is speaking of the remarriage of a Christian widow, it is reasonable to conclude that the principle holds true for all marriage eligible Christians. The issues faced by the first time marriage of a Christian to an unbeliever would be similar to those encountered in remarriage of a Christian widow to an unbeliever.

Perhaps God’s Spirit Who inspired Paul to write this had in mind the same principle that He bound on the people of the Old Covenant.

Deuteronomy 7:3-4
3 Furthermore, you shall not intermarry with them; you shall not give your daughters to their sons, nor shall you take their daughters for your sons. 4 For they will turn your sons away from following Me to serve other gods; then the anger of the Lord will be kindled against you, and He will quickly destroy you.

The general issue of Christians binding themselves to unbelievers (in more than just marriage) is dealt with by Paul in the New Testament.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?

Surely the marriage bond would be included in Paul’s prohibition of being "bound together with unbelievers."

1 Corinthians 7:12-14
12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

It was common in the first century for one spouse to become a Christian while the other did not. (This happens today, too.) Religiously "mixed marriages" were forbidden under the Law of Moses (See Deuteronomy 7:3-4 above). Under Christ however, the marriage is "sanctified" (i.e. is acceptable to God) by the presence of the believer, thus the marriage is not to be dissolved as long as the unbeliever consents. [Note: The mention of the sanctification of the unbeliever by the presence of the believing mate does not mean that person is saved from hell without Christ. Such a conclusion would go against all that is written about the need for individual action in coming to Christ. It simply means that God accepts the marriage as a valid marriage and (perhaps) any children as legitimate children.]

By the way, God accepts all marriage as valid and binding, whether people are Christians or not. Otherwise, unbelievers could not be guilty of adultery and fornication.

That is all for now. Next time we will talk about divorce.

Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.

Copyright © 1996-2008 by The Preacher's Study. Permission is granted to subscribers to use this document in total or in sermon preparation in the context of the local congregation only. Publishing it in a book, on the Internet, or anyplace beyond the local congregation is prohibited.

All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

[Archive]    [Home]   [Comments]   [Search]