How To Make The Thanksgiving Section Of Someone's Prayer List
Philemon Series: Part 1
Philemon 1-7
Alan Walker

Paul's words are "dear friend." Someone as close as a brother or sister. Someone who feels like family, but is not genetically related. No DNA match. But it doesn't matter.

While we have many letters in the New Testament written by Paul, the little letter to Philemon might be better referred to as a postcard. Its the Paul's shortest correspondence - so short, I believe, that the One Year Bible has you reading the whole 25 verses in one day, and then you are done with Philemon for another whole year.

This is a personal correspondence between Paul and Philemon. Although it is a personal note, God's Spirit determined it was not only a note to Philemon, but to every Christian, to read and learn from. Its part of the Canon of the New Testament. That makes it a very important 25 verses.

Our normal tendency is to believe that the short parts of the bible must somehow be less important than the longer ones. Yet, Scripture is Scripture and it is all important, or it would not be in the book. So, for the next several weeks we are going to spend some time with these 25 verses of scripture - this unique postcard from God.

We will break the postcard into three sections and look at it first one today. The three sections are:

Philemon was written by Paul, between 60-62 A.D. He was most likely in the Roman prison cell as these words were penned. It was written at the same time as the letter to the Colossians, and delivered to Philemon at the same time Colossians was delivered. Philemon lived in Colossae, and was an important part of the Church. Apparently the Church met in his home.

Let's look then at Philemon on Philemon.

I've entitled the message: How to Make the Thanksgiving Section of Someone's Prayer List

Hear the word of the Lord as we read verses 1-7:

1:1 Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus, and Timothy our brother, To Philemon our dear friend and fellow worker, 2 to Apphia our sister, to Archippus our fellow soldier and to the church that meets in your home: 3 Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 4 I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5 because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. 6 I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. 7 Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints. (NIV)

The key verse for today is verse 4:

"I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers," (NIV)

The question I'm asking this morning is, "Does anyone thank God for you?"

If the answer is "Yes they do," then you are one of the Philemon's of our congregation.

If the answer is "No," then listen closely, because these verses will show you how to be a Philemon.

If the answer is "I'm not sure," well, let's find out.

To make the thanksgiving section of a prayer list the first thing we need to see is that there are:

1. Two Roles to Play

I don't mean "role playing" like we think of when we are playing or acting. This isn't to be understood as "make-believe." I'm referring to our role as Christians.

The first of these two roles is:

Like Philemon, be a dear friend.

In The Born Loser, the boss says, "Thornapple, I can see you've been in the dumps. Let me share something with you. Remember when the chips are down and your back's against the wall, you need a friend to see you through. When things are better, call me."

If you are blessed and have a "dear friend" than you don't really need me to spend any time defining this.

If you don't have a dear friend, I suppose a definition really isn't going to do all that much good.

When Paul thinks of Philemon, he doesn't say, 

Paul's words are "dear friend." Someone as close as a brother or sister. Someone who feels like family, but is not genetically related. No DNA match. But it doesn't matter.

They are the ones we can talk to about anything - and we do. We can confess to them, knowing they will not gab, but not let us off the hook either. They love us.

On my personal prayer list under "thanksgiving" the most often used names are those of my dearest friends, as I thank God for them, for their influence in my life, and for blessing me.

Perhaps King David defined a dear friend best. At the death of Jonathan, out of his grief and despair, David wrote in 2 Samuel 1:26: "I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother; you were very dear to me. Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of women." (NIV)

A couple of thoughts....

You can have friends and you can have "dear" friends, but you can't be a friend or a dear friend to everybody.

I suppose that's because of our goals and personalities. Because of our age, our idiosyncrasies - and many other factors play into the equation - we can't be a friend to everyone.

We are family here at the church. We have many friends. I hope you have some dear friends. But, not everyone of us are dear friends. That doesn't mean we don't care for and love each other. It doesn't mean we are not part of the same family. It doesn't mean we dislike or hate each other.

Its simply the truth that you can't be a dear friend to everyone.

One of the questions that might come to mind is: How can I have friends like Philemon/Paul or a David/Jonathan?

To have a close friend, you must be willing to be a close friend. You have to be willing to allow God to direct you into the circles where you can minister and be ministered to. You have to be willing to invest time - and most of the time, its a lot of time.

You have to be willing to know when to talk and most importantly, when to listen.

You have to know 

Perhaps most importantly, you have to know how to keep a secret  that is, to keep a confidence. You need to know how to hold someone's heart in your hand and not allow anyone else to see it or know it like you do.

Does anyone thank God for you?

If you're a dear friend they do...

The second role is:

Like Philemon, be a fellow-worker.

Philemon was a worker in the congregation at Colossae. Perhaps he was one of the ministers or elders, but Paul calls him "a fellow worker."

Paul didn't have to tell the Colossians Philemon was a "fellow worker" because they knew, like most congregations today know who the workers are. They know who works for the Lord.

Did you know most church statistics indicate that in any given congregation only 10-20% of the members are classified as active workers? I'm referring to teaching, calling, helping, ministry, yard work and lawn care, on a committee, etc.

It's my hope that if a survey were taken of our congregation, that we would fair better than 20%. I hope we will hit the higher numbers.

The fellowship is sweet among fellow workers in a congregation. To work together on the same project, the same goal, the same ministry, the same purpose, the same vision. I really enjoy meeting with the elders every other week. It is a joy to sit down and pray with them for you, and to talk about sometimes trivial matters, other times vital matters affecting the congregation.

You don't have to attend the same congregation to be "fellow-workers". I have many preacher pals who don't attend here, but we are "fellow-workers." We have the same goal, the same hopes, dreams, visions, plans, and the fellowship is sweet between us.

Working side by side, seeking to accomplish the same tasks, not competitively, but with the goal that all accomplishments will grant God all that much more glory.

Does anyone thank God for you? 

If you're a fellow worker for Jesus, then someone probably does.

These are the two roles we must play, but there's more. There are also...

2. Two Traits to Possess

Look again at verse 4: "I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers...." (NIV)

When Paul prayed for Philemon he was offering prayers of gratitude and thanksgiving to God for him.

When you pop into someone's mind, what do you suppose is their first emotion about you? Are they thankful for you, or...!

Some people never make the "thanksgiving prayer list." They make the other list, you know, maybe the "Help me love this person" portion of the prayer list.

Well, again to make the list let's look at these two important traits we must possess:

Like Philemon, possess a reputable faith.

Look at verses 5 and 6:

5 because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. 6 I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ. (NIV)

What in the world is a reputable faith? Philemon's faith had two very interesting parts.

First it was a faith that made the news! "I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus...."

What's really exciting about Philemon's faith is it wasn't a silent faith. It wasn't a hidden or secret faith. He not only talked the talk, but he walked the walk. He lived his faith. It was a part of his daily life. Others could see it. It touched the life of other people. Lives were growing closer to Jesus because of the man's faith.

Recently I received an email from an older preacher. You could almost see his tears of joy on the screen. He wrote that he and his wife were in a service recently, and the man who lead the prayer looked familiar and they recognized his voice. After services they couldn't stay. But on the road they realized this adult man, now in his thirties was once a five year old boy in their neighborhood that they had taken to Church. What an affirmation of ministry! What a testimony to faith!

Second, it was a faith that was worth sharing! He says, "I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith..."

I don't know, do you suppose everyone's faith is worth sharing? What about yours?

If you began to share your faith in Jesus with someone, would it matter?

I'm reminded of the story I heard many years ago about the man who was on his way to the Halloween party. He rented a costume of the devil. It came with the red outfit, the red horns and even the red pitchfork. It really looked devilish. Well, rather than driving to the party, which was only a few blocks from his home, he decided to walk. Suddenly it began to rain and it rained hard. The costume was rented and he feared that if it was ruined he would have to pay for it. He ran into the first building on the street that was open. The situation was a bit unique because it happened to be a church, and they were in session, when the devil came running through the door. They were surprised, and he was too. The members all screamed and ran out the back door, all except one dear old person who ran up trembling to the devil, fell on their knees and said, "Don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, I was only kidding, they thought I was on their side, but I've been on your side all this time."

No real faith and certainly not one worth sharing.

Philemon's faith in God was worth sharing. Folks, I have to tell you, I believe yours is as well. Your faith is meant to share. It's not supposed to be harbored within the walls of your heart. Your heart is not a prison cell for Jesus to abide in, but a place from which to share Him..

A precocious 4-year-old girl was brought to the ER with a severe cough. A nurse writes:  "She kept up a non-stop conversation while I was trying to assess her lung sounds. Finally, I said, 'Shhh! I have to see if Barney is in there.' The child looked at me and calmly stated, 'I have Jesus in my heart. Barney is on my underwear."

You know what Paul would tell this 4 year old girl. He would tell her to go and share with everyone she knows, that Jesus is in her heart.

Folks, if you want to be on someone's thanksgiving prayer list, you need to get off these pews and go out there and mingle with the world and lead someone to Jesus. If you do, I guarantee you they will praise God for you, just as you praise God for those instrumental in your coming to Jesus.

Does anyone thank God for you?

They will if you have a reputable faith!

A reputable faith is a faith that makes the news and is worth sharing. But there's more...

Like Philemon, possess a refreshing love.

Verse 7 says, "Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the saints." (NIV) 

Refreshing is a word you don't need to have defined.

Refreshing. That's the kind of love Philemon had. He was one of those individuals who, when you had been in his company, you felt better. Like a breath of fresh air!

The word means "to give intermission from labor" [WEV] In our terms it means "to take a well deserved break."

Maybe, McDonald's is right: "You deserve a break today."

That's Philemon. When he calls on the phone, and his name is on the caller ID, you grab it and are ready to visit.

Philemon's love (agape) was the kind of love that not only brought joy to Paul's life - it brought great joy. His life was better for having known Philemon.

Philemon's love was an encouragement to Paul. His love was a faith building love. A infectious love that was able to remove all the bad things of life, or at least help place them in their proper perspective.

If you want to make the Thanksgiving section of a prayer list, then be sure to have this kind of infectious love.

"Does anyone thank God for you?"

They will if you are a refreshing person to be with.

Who do you thank God for? Do they know?

Wrap Up

Most of us know the Philemons among us. We know if we are one of them ourselves.

Now we are more aware of how to become one.

Its really not that important that you ever make a thanksgiving section of a prayer list. What is important is that your lives as men and women of God are involved and invested in the lives of others. That your life has made someone else's life better and more fulfilling.

No, we are not islands. We are not alone. We are fellow pilgrims on our way to heaven. We need each other.  I need you. We are family.

Let me share a final story, and look again at one verse of scripture.

Alan Loy McGinnis relates the following:

In my hometown an obscure nurseryman died recently. His name was Hubert Bales, and he was the shyest man I ever met. When he talked, he squirmed, blinked his eyes rapidly, and smiled nervously.

Hubert never ran in influential circles. He grew shrubs and trees, working with his hands the plot of land left by his father. He was anything but an extrovert.

Yet when Hubert died, his funeral was the largest in the history of our little town. There were so many people that they filled even the balcony of the church.

Why did such a shy man win the hearts of so many people? Simply because, for all his shyness, Hubert knew how to make friends. He had mastered the principles of caring, and for more than 60 years he had put other people first.

Perhaps because they recognized his generosity of spirit was an extra effort for someone so retiring, people loved him back. By the hundreds.

Hubert Bales was a Philemon type person.

"I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers."

Be a Philemon.

Copyright © 1997-2004, The Preacher's Corner. Reprinted here by permission of the author (and our good friend) Alan Walker for the benefit of our subscribers. Alan may be reached at: sermonzzzz@aol.com. This message may be used by subscribers of The Preacher's Study in their local work only. It may not be published on the Internet, in a book, or anyplace else beyond the local congregation without the expressed permission of the author. All Scripture quotations are from the New International Version.