"Seven Things to Remember When You're Unfairly Treated."
A Sermon by Dave Redick
Hwy 20 Church of Christ, Sweet Home, Oregon
Introduction
How do you react when someone treats you unfairly? Let's say someone double crosses you or cheats you. Maybe someone lies about you and your reputation is damaged. Perhaps your boss chews you out for something you know you didn't do or singles you out because he doesn't like what you stand for. What is your typical response? Do you:
| Retreat into a depression? | |
| Withdraw from human interaction? | |
| Look for a way to get even? | |
| Vow that you'll never do anything nice for anyone again? | |
| Cheat the next guy down the line because you conclude that it's a "dog-eat-dog" world? | |
| Become so cynical about the world that you no longer enjoy life? |
These responses are all too common in the people around us. I'm not asking about them though. I'm asking about you and me - people who, like it or not, represent God before a watching world.
As Christians, we are called by God to be different from the world and this is one area where that difference can really show. In this message I want to share Seven Things To Remember When You're Unfairly Treated. These things can help you be or become the kind of person whose faith makes a difference in this world - something I hope you are all interested in.
The first thing to remember when you've been treated unfairly is that:
I. This Life Isn't Fair.
I suppose to some of us might think it is redundant for me to say that, but it never ceases to amaze me that so many Christians get so upset when things don't come out even.
Whoever said that this life was fair, anyway? I'm not aware of any Bible verse that teaches such a thing. Of course, God will ultimately even things out at the judgement - a point the Bible makes often - but in the here-and-now there are no guarantees. In fact, in a fallen world like ours, with mankind corrupted by a sinful nature and God allowing freedom of choice, it only follows that things are not going to be fair all the time.
Yet, it bugs us, doesn't it? It bugs me! The bad guy sometimes wins. The criminal gets off Scot-free. The cheater passes the class. The ladder climber who steps on everyone in his path gets the penthouse. The politician lies and gets away with it because the economy is good.
I'm not suggesting here that we shouldn't do whatever we can when we can to make things right. I'm simply saying that sometimes making things even is beyond what we can do. At that point, so that we don't go insane at the unbalanced nature of it all, we need to remember that we live in a fallen world and until God redeems this place from the curse and removes sin, it's not always going to be fair.
I'm not recommending defeatism or fatalism here. I'm simply trying to be realistic. Don't set your expectations too high. In this life, no matter how you live or what you do, life isn't always going to be fair.
Secondly, when you've been unfairly treated, remember that:
II. What Happens In You Is More Important Than What Happens To You.
Things are going to happen in this life that we are powerless to change. We usually cannot rearrange someone else's behavior toward us, nor can we undo the moments in which someone has hurt us. Maybe it can be prevented next time, but once it has happened, it has happened. There is no backing up.
If we keep reliving the unhappy moment and devote endless hours to "appealing the verdict" of a wrongdoing in our minds, we will be left spent and miserable. Though it is sometimes hard to see, time passed in the "courtroom of our mind" trying the case over and over is really time wasted. Even though we're sure the verdict is "guilty," there is usually no way to bring about justice in this life without becoming guilty ourselves. Our best (and sometimes only) recourse is to ask the Lord to change our inner life - to use this evil to bring about good in us.
We've seen recently that Joseph knew this truth. For all that was done to him by his brothers, he could have died a bitter and unhappy man. He didn't do that though. At some point along the way he decided he would concentrate his energies on being the best person that he could be for God in whatever circumstance he found himself. Over the process of a lifetime, because of this attitude, God could take him from a pit to a palace. One has to wonder how different it might have been had Joseph chosen to spend endless hours licking his wounds and rehearsing his hurts. After 23 years of living with this choice of "betterness" rather than bitterness, as his brothers stood before him in a position where revenge could have been a snap-of-the-fingers away, his verdict was this: " you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good "
Suppose you hold a glass of liquid as you walk toward me. I carelessly (or deliberately) bump into you. Whatever you have in the glass will probably spill out.
That is the way our lives are. When we are bumped, whatever is inside comes out. For most of us, an injustice done to us personally is a very jarring "bump." Sadly, it is disgraceful sometimes the things that spill out.
God wants the things inside the glass cleaned up. From time to time He will allow us to be bumped, sometimes quite forcefully and "unjustly," to reveal what is there. A life where the work of the Holy Spirit has been neglected will reveal a cup full of hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissention, faction, and envy. God wants all of that to change. What happens in you is far more important than what happens to you.
Thirdly, when you've been treated unfairly, remember that:
III. God Is Watching To See What You Will Do.
My dear brothers and sisters, there is more happening when an injustice is done to us than just the unpleasantness of the moment. God is watching to see what we will do and He sees it all, from beginning to end. As the Scripture clearly reveals, He is testing us. There are so many verses on this subject that I hesitate to pick just one, however, there is a passage that I have found quite helpful at such times. Maybe it can help you.
1 Pet 2:19-20 says, "For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a man bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God.
The NIV puts it this way: "For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God."
"But it isn't fair!" I can hear someone thinking. That's just the point. It never is. So what does God want us to do about it? These verses tell us that it finds favor with God if we "bear up under the pain of unjust suffering." Being a Christian isn't for sissies or the half-committed.
A third thing to remember when you're unfairly treated is that:
IV. You Must Not Bow to Bitterness.
This may be obvious in the things I have already said, but I consider it necessary in my own life to say it sometimes in order to strengthen my own resolve when I'm really feeling used or betrayed or mistreated. I say to myself (and sometimes even out loud) "I won't bow to bitterness."
All of us need to set some standards for ourselves. We need to draw the line in the sand and say, "Beyond this point I will not go - not for comfort - not for security - not for revenge - not for anything!
Paul wrote to the Ephesians, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice." You see there is no part of "all" that allows for an exception. God wants all the bitterness out of you and me.
A doctor told a man that he had rabies. Upon hearing the diagnosis, he took out a piece of paper and started writing on it. The doctor thought, "Oh, he must be making up his will," so he asked, "What are you doing, making up your will?" The man said, "No, I'm just writing down every person I'm going to bite."
Sadly, that is how some folks handle injustice. They are so bitter that they bite everyone else around them.
We must never bow to bitterness.
Something else to remember you're wrongfully treated is this:
V. You Must Not Allow One Wrong to Become the Cause of Another.
All of us say from time to time, "Two wrongs don't make a right," but oh, my, when someone has "bumped" us, how we can forget!
The following came from the Associated Press News Service:
"Crime does pay. For the trauma of being almost choked to death the 80-year-old mugging victim got nothing. But the mugger fleeing from the crime was shot by a policeman and left paralyzed. So the mugger gets two million dollars. Our court system's deference to the rights of wrong doers, being what it is, crime pays."
What reaction does a story like that invoke in us? How easy it is to adopt a cynical attitude when we've been "verbally mugged" by someone and it seems they get off without paying for their wrong.
I've already pointed out that this life isn't always fair. If you intend to spend the rest of the one you have trying to make it fair, you're going to wear yourself out in a futile exercise." The time for righting all the wrongs comes later, not now. We Christians need to accept that.
Paul says in Romans, after telling us not to take our own revenge, "Leave room for the wrath of God." Soon enough judgement will come upon men. Let God take care of it. Our job here is something else entirely.
As Jesus neared the time for his crucifixion and ascension, He was headed toward Jerusalem. To get there He had to pass through Samaria. His disciples went ahead of Him to make arrangements for their passage and places to stay. The Samaritans cold-shouldered them because they were headed for Jerusalem and it offended the two "Sons of Thunder," James and John, personally. We read about it in Luke 9:51-56:
The passage says,
And when His disciples James and John saw this, they said, "Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?" But He turned and rebuked them, and said, "You do not know what kind of spirit you are of; for the Son of Man did not come to destroy men's lives, but to save them."
What the Samaritans did wasn't nice and it wasn't fair, but Jesus didn't say, "Yeah, you guys go in and even up the score." Instead he reminded them of the greater purpose they had in helping these people to be saved. When you are stinging from some personal unfair treatment you have received and are ready to pull out the heavy artillery in retaliation, would it not be appropriate for Jesus to say to you, "You do not know what kind of spirit you are of "
Another thing to remember when it seems you haven't been treated is this:
VI. What You Do Is More Important Than How You Feel.
God has spelled out what our behavior is to be in the kind of situation we're discussing in many places in Scripture. I'll mention just a few:
Matthew 5:44 says, "But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you "
Luke 6:27-28 says, "But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you "
Romans 12:20 says, "But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink.."
It isn't particularly difficult to figure out what these verses say we must do. The difficult part is our feelings, isn't it? Why is it so hard
| To get on our knees and pray for that person whose carelessness or neglect caused us so much pain? | |
| To go down to the store and buy a gift and send it to that person whom we know must hate us? | |
| To say something that blesses them rather than cursing them under our breath? |
The answer is simple. Every feeling in our bodies is screaming that it isn't right!
Ah! We've come to an important crossroad in this matter. We've come to the place where we learn whether we're serious about our faith or not. The true Christian will strive to do what is right even if his/her feelings aren't in favor of it.
Many of us have yet to learn this very important part of our faith. Doing the right thing isn't always the thing that makes us feel good at the moment.
I've heard Christians say, "I know my behavior was right because God gave me a peace about it?" Oh? The last time I remember returning good for something someone did that really hurt me, it put me into turmoil, at least for awhile. My sense of justice was sorely wounded. It took awhile for my feelings to catch up and come to the place of "peace." God certainly didn't "give me a peace," at least not initially.
I have often thought that I would like to have a model train to help myself and others remember this. It would have two engines on it - one at the front and one at the back, with both of them pulling in opposite directions. I would name one of the engines "feelings" and the other "actions." Then I would hold the train up for all to see and I would ask, "Which engine pulls your train?"
It is sad, but true, that some of us are content to be pulled along by our feelings. That's why we find obedience so hard.
Many of the things God has called us to do require us to go against our feelings for the moment. "Love your enemies?" Who feels like doing that?
But, you see the Christian knows that actions lead, feelings follow. Want to see an example?
John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son ."
God loved us so He gave His Son. How do you suppose that made God feel? Was He jumping for joy when His Son hung suffering on the cross? What do you think would have happened had God acted on His feelings that day rather than His loving commitment to offer a way for the world to be saved?
The right thing isn't always the thing that feels good at the moment. Actions lead, feelings follow. Where did the good feelings come in then, when Jesus died on the cross? They came later, after the sacrifice had been made and people were coming to God because of what Jesus did!
Hebrews 12:2 says exactly that: "fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross "
The joy followed the cross. It didn't come prior or during. Likewise, the good feelings that result from our doing right usually come after the act, not before. If we wait around in the beginning, hoping to get our feelings to go along with our actions, we'll seldom do what is right.
How about it?
| Are you returning good for evil? | |
| Are you turning the other cheek when it is appropriate? Are you walking the second mile? | |
| Are you praying for that person who has hurt you so? | |
| Are you, like God, allowing whatever blessings you have in your life to fall on the just and the unjust, or are you selective, based on the records you've kept of wrongs done against you? | |
| Are you blessing rather than cursing? (The word "bless" in this case means literally, "to speak well of.") |
"But I don't feel like it!" Welcome to the world of discipleship. It's that way for all of us.
Finally, when we feel like we've been unfairly treated, you need to remember that:
VII. You Are Still The Bigger Debtor.
In Matthew 18, Jesus tells the story of a man who owed a king ten million dollars. There was no way he could pay his debt and in that day, there was no bankruptcy - only debtor's prison or slavery. As he was about to be thrown into prison, he begged the King to give him another chance and more time to pay. The King listened to his pleading and felt mercy for him. He didn't just give him more time to pay. He completely forgave the debt. The man walked away free.
You probably know the rest of the story. As soon as he got home he found someone who owed him a few hundred dollars. The man didn't have the money, so this man who had just been forgiven a debt of millions of dollars had his own debtor thrown into prison. After all, it's only just. "It's what the man had coming for what he did to me. He should learn to pay his debts on time! It's his fault. Fair is fair, right?"
Then the King got word of the whole thing. He was angry and resummoned the man he had forgiven just a short time before. To make the long story short, he called the unforgiving man "wicked" and reinstated his millions of dollars of debt. The man went to prison until he could pay it off - which, of course, was never. He went to prison for the rest of his life.
Then Jesus said, "So shall My heavenly Father also do to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart."
My friends, no matter whom might wrong us, we are still the bigger debtor. We always will be. God has forgiven a huge debt that we could never pay on our own. Because of that, is it really that much for God to ask us to overlook some of these hurts we experience here? I think not.
Are you one who feels you must even the score here? Then expect God to even the score on you when you get to judgement.
Conclusion
I doubt that the following story is true, but it does illustrate the truth I've been talking about.
A certain tenant farmer had worked hard for many years to improve the production of the land he leased. Then something happened that caused him to become very bitter. When it was time to renew his lease, the owner told him he was going to sell the farm to his son who was getting married. The tenant made several generous offers to buy it himself, hoping the man's decision would be reversed, but his pleading got nowhere. As the day drew near for the farmer to vacate his home, his weeks of angry brooding finally got the best of him. He gathered seeds from some of the most pesky and noxious weeds he could find. Then he spent many hours scattering them on the clean, fertile soil of the farm, along with a lot of trash and rocks he had collected. To his dismay, the very next morning the owner informed him that plans for his son's wedding had fallen through, and therefore he would be happy to renew the lease. He couldn't understand why the farmer exclaimed in agonizing tones, "Oh, Lord, what a fool I've been!"
Try as we might to even up the score when we're treated unfairly, the result for us will be the same as it was for that tenant farmer. At the end, we'll exclaim, "Oh, Lord, what a fool I've been!"
Dave Redick is Minister of the Hwy 20 Church of Christ in Sweet Home, Oregon and Editor of The Preacher's Study. He may be reached at pstudysupport@comcast.net.
Copyright © 1996-2008 by The Preacher's Study. Permission is granted to subscribers to use this document in total or in sermon preparation in the context of the local congregation only. Publishing it in a book, on the Internet, or anyplace beyond the local congregation is prohibited.
All Scripture quotations and references are from the New American Standard Version unless otherwise stated.
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